HEY cac3232 Fast forward a few months later when her actions and behaviors toward me started to change. I experienced the push/pull phase, devaluation, being ignored, etc. . .
Being her boss, everyday is a rollercoaster for me. I'm stressed 24/7 and emotionally drained from constantly thinking about her. On top of that I believe I'm in love with her.
Sounds like you are in a bad situation. A romantic relationship with a coworker is ill advised, but a romantic relationship between boss and employee is a recipe for disaster. Even if you are the owner of a small business, it is still a problem. Boundaries in a work situation are important, unless you want to lose your job or get sued. If nothing else, this type of interaction detracts from productivity in the work place and takes away from your objectivity in dealing with an employee.
The current situation with her ignoring you is an opportunity to enforce an immediate boundary, and assume what should be a healthy boss/employee relationship.
Sidenote - I've made an appointment next week for myself to go see a therapist. I need to start taking care of myself.
Glad to hear that you are seeking some therapy and that you have realized that you need to take care of yourself. A good therapist can help you work through this and see all the red flags about this relationship and hopefully help you to detatch from her in a healthy way.
The fantasy eventually wears off and never matches the reality. Might she think of you as a father figure?
Sounds like you have had some fun times together, but do you really know her? Good looks and sexual attraction can't carry a relationship over the long run. If she is BPD or has tenancies of BPD, then that would come out in the long run and make your life miserable. I'm thinking that most people wished they got out of a BPD romantic relationship before it got too involved and messy. Better to spend money on a nice vacation instead of a lawyer.
