Finally feeling a little bit better about things - encouragement for you

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I am now 4 months out of a 10 year relationship with uBPD.  Just a week ago I didn't think I would ever get over him!  I still have moments, but they have suddenly subsided a lot!  With the exception of a stressful day yesterday, I haven't burst into tears in days.  I am not sure what caused the breakthrough - I think it was several things in addition to time.

My young children went to camp for 4 days and I think the break was good for us all.  Yesterday we found our dog who had been missing since we moved out.  The people who had her had repeatedly denied ever seeing her, but strangely, when I went to their house she was on their porch next to a bowl of dog food.  It was a relief for all of us to have her home.

I mediated with my first husband and found out he should have been paying me support (I have been paying him!), but I had to agree to forget all he owes me (almost $8000) and he will pay me half of what he should from here on out.  Sucks in a way, but getting $400 instead of paying it will certainly help my finances.

My uBPD is holding everything the children and I own and I can't legally get it.  The children had their first supervised visitation at his house yesterday.  It was hard for me, especially seeing my furniture and appliances sitting out in the weather!  And not a thing I can do about it.  The supervisor felt bad for the children and I and said she will see what she can do to help us get our things.  uBPD was angry and rude to me and she had to reprimand him several times in the less than 5 minutes I was there.  He got on to our 7 year old because he was afraid to ask uBPD for his remote control car so I asked.  The supervisor told him to stop.  I don't think she was impressed.  I hurt for my children, but maybe she is starting to understand the situation (he was abusive to the children too during our relationship).

Anyway, I am feeling a lot more confident and able to do 'it' (whatever exactly 'it' is - live a happy life, maybe?).  I am sure that you all will come out of your dark places into the light soon.  I still have a loong way to go, but it feels good to be out from under the dark cloud.  Hang in there, everyone!  You can do it!

[LilMe]

So I am now 4 months out of a 10 year relationship with uBPD.  Just a week ago I didn't think I would ever get over him!  I still have moments, but they have suddenly subsided a lot!  With the exception of a stressful day yesterday, I haven't burst into tears in days.  I am not sure what caused the breakthrough - I think it was several things in addition to time.

My young children went to camp for 4 days and I think the break was good for us all.  Yesterday we found our dog who had been missing since we moved out.  The people who had her had repeatedly denied ever seeing her, but strangely, when I went to their house she was on their porch next to a bowl of dog food.  It was a relief for all of us to have her home.

I mediated with my first husband and found out he should have been paying me support (I have been paying him!), but I had to agree to forget all he owes me (almost $8000) and he will pay me half of what he should from here on out.  Sucks in a way, but getting $400 instead of paying it will certainly help my finances.

My uBPD is holding everything the children and I own and I can't legally get it.  The children had their first supervised visitation at his house yesterday.  It was hard for me, especially seeing my furniture and appliances sitting out in the weather!  And not a thing I can do about it.  The supervisor felt bad for the children and I and said she will see what she can do to help us get our things.  uBPD was angry and rude to me and she had to reprimand him several times in the less than 5 minutes I was there.  He got on to our 7 year old because he was afraid to ask uBPD for his remote control car so I asked.  The supervisor told him to stop.  I don't think she was impressed.  I hurt for my children, but maybe she is starting to understand the situation (he was abusive to the children too during our relationship).

Anyway, I am feeling a lot more confident and able to do 'it' (whatever exactly 'it' is - live a happy life, maybe?).  I am sure that you all will come out of your dark places into the light soon.  I still have a loong way to go, but it feels good to be out from under the dark cloud.  Hang in there, everyone!  You can do it!

[VitaminC]

Hi LilMe,

you're doing a generous and positive thing posting this message - just sharing your experience and reminding us all that it does get better and that time is our friend. So thank you for sending out that message!

Anyway, I am feeling a lot more confident and able to do 'it' (whatever exactly 'it' is - live a happy life, maybe?). 

That is really wonderful.

I think it's valuable to identify what "it" is, and what "a happy life" looks like. Only if we know what our goal is, can we slowly work our way towards it. This means doing the things that we know are good for us, and avoiding the things that are bad. You're still dealing with a lot, both practical and emotional matters. If you can see how times of feeling good are progress, you're doing great!

I am sure that you all will come out of your dark places into the light soon.  I still have a loong way to go, but it feels good to be out from under the dark cloud.  Hang in there, everyone!  You can do it!

Go you!