my birthday

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi gang,

It's my birthday. It's been fun so far and I think I am doing pretty okay outwardly, but truth be told it is pretty hard not to focus on the deafening silence from my ex. It's been two weeks now since she went strict NC. Any hints on ways to get through it?

xo, kc

[kc sunshine]

Hi gang,

It's my birthday. It's been fun so far and I think I am doing pretty okay outwardly, but truth be told it is pretty hard not to focus on the deafening silence from my ex. It's been two weeks now since she went strict NC. Any hints on ways to get through it?

xo, kc

[Stripey77]

Yes, keep as busy as humanly possible, and do something nice for YOU! Buy yourself something nice, do something you love doing, date yourself for the day! Single or not, I always do lovely things for myself on my birthday. Have you made plans with your buddies? Can you do?  Can you bear to switch your phone off or not look at it whilst you're out?


Oh, and Happy Birthday! 

[schwing]

It's your birthday!

You know what would be a good way to get through it?

Why don't you treat yourself to something you could have never had done while you were still together with your ex.  And if nothing comes to mind, then just come of up a couple of things (new things preferably) that you'd think would be fun to do to celebrate your birthday.

And if you *still* can't think of anything.

I'd suggest going to a local book store, find a guilty pleasure book, go to a nice hillside (or pub with good beer) and live in that book for a little while.

Happy Birthday!

Schwing

[UnforgivenII]

Happy birthday dear.

It is a gift not being with someone who hurt you.

[chillamom]

Happy Birthday, although I'm sure that sounds rather not-so-festive right about now.  I think you are doing fabulously, far better than I, and I like the suggestions the others have given.  For me, the only thing that works is total immersion is something either completely dumb (like a Netflix marathon) or really intellectually demanding (like preparing for the new semester, or trying to recall third grade multiplication tables... .)  Seriously, distraction is a friend at any point during the NC/LC/God Help me stay that way process, but especially on significant days like this... .hope the day went better than you expected!

[kc sunshine]

Thanks so much everyone! I made it through the day and had a fun night, laughing a lot. I'm still kind of in shock though that she didn't wish me happy birthday. I understand that so much break up/detachment advice is to go NC and not contact people on special days etc. but there is something so cold about it. I'm not a fan of it, though I suppose it will work to get the job done.

[Anez]

Happy birthday, KC!

[kc sunshine]

Thanks Anez! How are you doing? I haven't seen you on these boards for a while !

Happy birthday, KC!

[Anez]

Eh, I've been OK. ups and downs but overall pretty well.

i work with mine so it's still weird to see her and know we don't talk at all anymore. it's weird but that is what BPD is and it's for the best. Though what's funny is i was able to see she's been looking at some of my social media stuff here and there. I need to block that and continue to move on but part of me thinks by blocking i'm just giving her what she wants. Though who knows if she even thinks that way.

In conclusion - who knows what they think about!

but I'm glad you had a good birthday. keep pushing forward.