Who's seen jezebel?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Is this song by Iron & Wine sums it all up?

"Jezebel"

Who's seen jezebel?
She was born to be the woman i would know
And hold like the breeze
Half as tight as both our eyes closed

Who's seen jezebel?
She went walking where the cedars line the road
Her blouse on the ground
Where the dogs were hungry, roaming

Saying, "wait, we swear
We'll love you more and wholly
Jezebel, it's we, we that you are for
Only"

Who's seen jezebel?
She was born to be the woman we could blame
Make me a beast half as brave
I'd be the same

Who's seen jezebel?
She was gone before i ever got to say
"lay here my love
You're the only shape i'll pray to, jezebel"

Who's seen jezebel?
Will the mountain last as long as i can wait
Wait like the dawn
How it aches to meet the day

Who's seen jezebel?
She was certainly the spark for all i've done
The window was wide
She could see the dogs come running

Saying, "wait, we swear
We'll love you more and wholly
Jezebel, it's we, we that you are for
Only"

The song on Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=990kOZxIOKw

[TheSinister]

Is this song by Iron & Wine sums it all up?

"Jezebel"

Who's seen jezebel?
She was born to be the woman i would know
And hold like the breeze
Half as tight as both our eyes closed

Who's seen jezebel?
She went walking where the cedars line the road
Her blouse on the ground
Where the dogs were hungry, roaming

Saying, "wait, we swear
We'll love you more and wholly
Jezebel, it's we, we that you are for
Only"

Who's seen jezebel?
She was born to be the woman we could blame
Make me a beast half as brave
I'd be the same

Who's seen jezebel?
She was gone before i ever got to say
"lay here my love
You're the only shape i'll pray to, jezebel"

Who's seen jezebel?
Will the mountain last as long as i can wait
Wait like the dawn
How it aches to meet the day

Who's seen jezebel?
She was certainly the spark for all i've done
The window was wide
She could see the dogs come running

Saying, "wait, we swear
We'll love you more and wholly
Jezebel, it's we, we that you are for
Only"

The song on Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=990kOZxIOKw

[VitaminC]

Hi TheSinister,

What about the song resonates for you in particular?
Which line? Which feeling? Can you unpack it for us a little?

[TheSinister]

Every line here Got something to do with my story...

To start with the whole song's theme (as I see it at least) is about a Guy looking for his failed r/s Ex.
He asks people around looking for her since she is nowhere to be found and that's me in the past months... Since my final recycle ended... and even though I practice NC and not actually communication with my Ex I can’t stop looking for her in my mind, I keep wondering what she is doing?  who is she idolizing right now?, what she feels about me am I black or white today? Etc.

This constant search/obsession gets the best of me and I can't seems to stop so the whole song's theme describe me and I can really see myself as the narrator

Breaking down few lines that relates to BPD failed r/s forum are:

Who's seen jezebel?
She was born to be the woman i would know
And hold like the breeze
Half as tight as both our eyes closed


I always told my Ex that she is like a Hurricane, unpredictable and stormy that draws in every straight male in few Km radius, All I wanted to do is to hold her but it's like holding the wind... impossible… The “both eyes closed” part symbols to me that even though I knew from day 1 that something was "off" with her I choose to try and hold her  close despite many red flags.

Who's seen jezebel?
She went walking where the cedars line the road
Her blouse on the ground
Where the dogs were hungry, roaming


This one got to do with the biblical context of the Jezebel story, the dogs (that eats her alive in the bible)  are the punishment for her sins. It was clear that one day they will come... In my r/s with her  the dogs were always there in the background of our life together, we heard them barking in the distance when she cheated, lied, kept away from for me for days or raged coz I forgot to wash my cofee cup.

The dogs are more than that, it symbols the end of every BPD relationship, they WILL  comes in the end, eats her up from inside with guilt, shame and confusion makes it impossible to clinch to something stable.


Who's seen jezebel?
She was born to be the woman we could blame
Make me a beast half as brave
I'd be the same

It’s clear to me that I blame a lot of things that’s going wrong in my life on her, She is not the reason for my happiness or sadness but I clinch to her memory to escape myself alone.

Who's seen jezebel?
She was gone before i ever got to say
"lay here my love
You're the only shape i'll pray to, jezebel"

Many of us lived with the feeling that if we would done something different we could make it and stay with them...

I really do "pray for her" and idolize her looks and can’t find real interest in “flawed” woman that are not her. I live with the feeling that she is the only woman alive, the rest of them are just poor and boring imitators. Like in every belief or worship it’s blind and fanatic

Who's seen jezebel?
She was certainly the spark for all i've done
The window was wide
She could see the dogs come running

She was clearly the spark for all Ive done, I used to regard every moment we are not together to a wasted moment, the thing that motivated me to do anything else then to kiss and hold her tight was the knowledge that I will meet with her soon: that was the fuel in my life that made me want to  to eat, work or breath... .but the window was wide, just wide enough for the dogs, the blood hungry dogs to go through.

The Ending is always tragic like and  inevitable

[VitaminC]

I used poetic means to try to understand and give a beauty to my own ravaged feelings. It was, for me, a way of speaking and thinking about it, that did not turn the whole thing in the monotony and dullness of self-help language.

My ex did it too. Spoke about dogs barking in the night, drops of rain on windows, sending me a picture of strawberries covered in mould (quite beautiful, really) and when I asked 'why?', was told 'the strawberries were for us to have for breakfast. You didn't come. I've let them rot'.

There is enigma and transcendence and a kind of magic in metaphor and the kinds of images that song lyrics create. Using that allowed me to believe that the relationship was somehow not ugly, no, but magnificently, magisterially, universally ugly.  

It’s clear to me that I blame a lot of things that’s going wrong in my life on her, She is not the reason for my happiness or sadness but I clinch to her memory to escape myself alone.

Myself alone. Yes, that's what we are always trying to escape, until we begin to accept it.  Easy words to say. That's pretty much what I'm working on at the moment.

What is yourself alone, Sinister? What songs capture this for you? Are they all tragic, or are there other ones that speak to the creative, sensitive, happier you as well?