xw and bf at me again

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

It sounds trivial, but xw and bf are acting like children, I was just in town, sitting in my car, looked up and they were parked in front of me, waiving at me, big sarcastic waves and she had her face against the window making a sarcastic face at me. Is this worth putting in my journal, my son was in the back seat he was waving but they were being malicious. I'm not paranoid, I know the difference between a hi, how are ya wave and a big dumb wave. These are 40 year old people, my god. We have court in November,  is something like this worth putting in my journal for court? 2 weeks ago they gave me the finger. She doesn't even have the sense to fake it.

[bus boy]

It sounds trivial, but xw and bf are acting like children, I was just in town, sitting in my car, looked up and they were parked in front of me, waiving at me, big sarcastic waves and she had her face against the window making a sarcastic face at me. Is this worth putting in my journal, my son was in the back seat he was waving but they were being malicious. I'm not paranoid, I know the difference between a hi, how are ya wave and a big dumb wave. These are 40 year old people, my god. We have court in November,  is something like this worth putting in my journal for court? 2 weeks ago they gave me the finger. She doesn't even have the sense to fake it.

[david]

You honor take a look at my dash cam pro. This is what I am dealing with and they do it in front of our child. Having a couple of those should be priceless in court.
Having it in a journal may be helpful to add to a laundry list of things but a video would say so much more. You would have to talk to your attorney about it though to see if it is admissible in court.

[bus boy]

Hi david, I sent my L an email seeking advice on this disturbing situation. I can get a dash cam from my sister. I do have plenty of written evidence, texts, email's, even s9 registration form where she named someone else as the emergency contact. All of this speaks very loud volumes, we had this judge before and back than he wasn't impressed with her actions, judges before also made remarks that if her behaviour doesn't change she could loose s9. The judge very clearly read an article out of the child custody act to my xw in court and it states a parent can loose the child if this behaviour continues. It's of course more detailed than that, I am only giving the just of what the judge warned could happen. Xw has only gotten worse. It's like she's fully inflated. I did some reading on BPD family about alianation. I was floored with what I read, alianation is much deeper that what I understood it to be. Xw is and has been in full swing alianation mode for years and as I keep saying, getting worse since she met her bf. My prediction of her bf's gradual involvement in this has come to light and will escalate. I've made these predictions to my T long ago and asked her to make a dated note of it, so I have that as proof of how this will turn out.

[david]

Having the same judge is good. I would gather as much current evidence as you can. In court you can have your attorney bring up what happened before. That establishes a continuing effort on ex's part and should be very helpful. You may want to ask for more time or other things if the evidence is overwhelming. The worst that can happen is the judge says no but gives you what you were originally seeking. Perhaps your attorney can suggest counseling for ex to deal with her issues. If she doesn't go there is more evidence for the future. Always present it as what is best for S9. When you are in a relaxed business like mood think about what is best for S9 and see how to address it in court.
I used to get upset when my ex did similar things in the beginning. I had a change of mind later on when I realized she was assisting me in getting more time with our boys. We were in a custody eval and she threatened the evaluator that she would take him to court. She lost it right in front of him. I was very tempted to get up, walk over to her, give her a big hug, and say thank you.

[bus boy]

She is helping me. She did seek counselling.  Got a glowing review from the T. She only went to a few sessions and said the T told her she is the stable person in s9 life and is doing everything right and does not need any counselling.  Xw said, the T told her I was a classic case of someone who is disfunctional and haven't grown or changed and is not a suitable parent. I've been seeing the same  T for several years, she is highly skilled and has a clear pic of what is going on, my T said after years of doing this work she has learned to tell what clients are being honest and the ones who are not being honest, she said she knows I'm being completely honest. After all of these years my T still makes it clear although she the whole picture she will not make a judgement call on my xw. Very professional. So how can xw see a T only a few times and is able to make such an unprofessional judgement call against me. Now that I think of it, she is probably lying. She put words in the school principals mouth. I called the principal wondering why she would say the things she said and had no clue what I was talking about.

[Ulysses]

Busboy, your ex could indeed be lying.  Recently I talked to my D8 T about what exH told me she says to him, asking T advice on how to handle this particular issue with my D.  Her T said, he's telling you this but you have no proof.  I felt very naive.  Even after all the lying he did, I just automatically believed him when he told me these things.  It never crossed my mind that he would lie to me about something D8 supposedly told him.

My ex also told me my therapy wasn't helping me, etc.  It seems like it serves to undermine our growth and increasing confidence.

David is absolutely right.  Videotape their actions.  In my state, I believe video recordings are legal, audio recordings are not.

Hang in there.