Help

[Sadly]

Am having very bad wobble right now. Crushed and missing my love. Someone please be here

[fromheeltoheal]

Labeling him "my love" isn't helping Sadly.  What are you focusing on right now, and how can you shift that?

[Lifewriter16]

Wobbles are hard. Sending you some love, Sadly. Hang in there.

Love Lifewriter x
 

[patientandclear]

What helps/helped me the most (interestingly, after many months/years of feeling awful about all this I am finally feeling mostly ok ... .Hope that might be comforting) is to realize that those feelings are supposed to be there. Of course you feeling longing. You were deeply attached to this person and it doesn't make sense that things went as they did. It doesn't feel right, it hurts tremendously. Those are all correct feelings.

In the hardest stretch I really thought of welcoming the pain and sadness. They needed to be there.

They are NOT cues to do anything.  :)oes that make sense?

If I were addicted to a drug (which this might as well be--there is even a biochemical component), I would long for and want it, too. Making it through those feelings is what recovery entails. The key is not to translate the longing into impulsive actions that fill the void just at that moment but are at odds with moving further down the road to a good place independent of this relationship.

I know how hard it is and how bad it feels.

[JerryRG]

   

We can wobble and fall as long as we get back up, I have faith in you Sadly.

Sending prayers your way.

[Sadly]

Sorry. Am trapped. In a car park. I can't see to drive, I suddenly just fell apart. I do love him very much. I don't like him. I can't be with him. I don't like what he has done to me or what I have let him do. People are looking at me, I don't want them to come over. I can't stop crying, it all hurts so much. This morning I was strong, now I am not. Thank you for being here.

[heartandwhole]

Sadly,

We are here for you, with lots of virtual hugs.   

There is a part of you that can contain these feelings, can "hold" them while you feel them. Imagine them coming in pulses or waves that you can handle—just enough, and not too much. If the feelings become overwhelming, please do reach out to a trusted friend or therapist.

Stay parked as long as it takes—I don't recommend driving while you are feeling this way. 

heartandwhole

[Larmoyant]

Sadly, it passes ok. Just go with it. Let the pain come and it will slowly fall away. Remember, you were feeling stronger this morning. You'll feel stronger again. Sending much love and strength your way   

[Sadly]

Thank you all, so very much. Managed to get home. Will take in all you say. Really really thank you all for being there when I needed you.

[Larmoyant]

Was worried about you and happy you're home. Always here Sadly, don't suffer alone ok 

[Sadly]

Thank you, don't know what happened, I was ok and then I wasn't. I'm not now but at least I'm home. What a mess. I have some antidepressants I could start taking. Therapy is not easy to get here in the uk. My doctor has been useless trying to sort it out. He gave me a helpline number to call but when I eventually got through to someone and tried to explain they lost interest when they realised I wasn't about to throw myself off the top of a multi storey car park. The second one thought BPD was a sexually transmitted disease. It's ok, you can laugh, I did.
Love you for caring 

[maddy786]

I am writing this after 3 pegs down... .
I know it hurts like hell but the most important thing is we have to love ourselves first. We are in this situation because we kept our feelings way down than our partners. Be strong, motivate yourself... .remember you are not alone... .

Post here, get replies/advice.

I was in 3 yrs r/s and 2 months no contact. Its been tough but we have no option.

Just think its way of god testing us... .

[Sadly]

Hello Maddy
Thanks for replying, it's good not to feel alone though sometimes in the middle of the night it's hard to remember. I can cope with the reality of it all, it's just my own emotions I am struggling with. I think I will need to take the pills, I clearly can't manage day to day without them for at least a short while. Thank goodness you are all here. Unfortunately I feel God has tested me enough since I was a little girl, I really feel he needs to let up on me for a while.
May he bless you though. x

[insideoutside]

Hi Sadly

I'm in the UK too.  Does your employer have an employee assistance programme as sometimes they offer counselling or an occupational health unit?

I know what you mean about being tested since a young child; I feel that too.  I seem to have become the 'rescuer' people pleaser type after trying to rescue my mother when she fell into a depression etc, and have kind of stuck in that role with previous partners etc.

I hope you feel better soon.  When those emotions overtake you it feels insurmountable but sit with them and breathe and let them wash over you. X

[Sadly]

Hi Izzy
Am not working at the moment, I work as a contract engineer so don't get access to health programmes. I will try and talk to my doctor again tomorrow. I will try and breathe through them, I know they pass but I struggle badly when it happens. I feel very weak and pathetic and so tired of this. Thank you for caring enough to reply. x