Might see her. Need advice.

[sweet tooth]

I haven't been on this board in several months. I'm pretty much fully recovered, although I still think about my ex daily. I looked at old pics of her early and I felt nothing. No attraction, no animosity, nothing. I would say that that is very good.

To make a long story short: She broke my heart. On a matter of two days she we went from having the best nights of my life to "you don't even know me." She ditched me on a planned trip we were supposed to take with some friends of mine (my birthday weekend). The next time I messaged her she said "do not contact me again."

Since then I've gotten strange phone calls, LinkedIn views, and Facebook requests. One FB account messaged me. I called her out by name and said, "I won't communicate to you unless you message me through your actual account or through the phone." The account was deleted the next day.

She went to a few MeetUp events that my friend (who introduced us) also attended. He told me her behavior was bizarre. For instance, she deleted both of us on FB and made it clear she didn't want anything to do with either of us... .but sat right next to my friend in the movie theater (he changed seats to avoid an uncomfortable situation. I can't say I blame him). He also said she came to one event about an hour late, stayed for a half hour, and then disappeared without saying goodbye to the group. She told one person she was leaving. He also said she put on a lot of weight. Out of curiosity I checked her FB profile to confirm. She's basically obese and unattractive now. She doesn't look like herself. She was an attractive, wholesome looking young woman. She was always plain looking (a natural beauty), but now she looks really sloppy and like she doesn't care about her appearance at all.

I RSVPed to a MeetUp event this weekend at a pumpkin patch several weeks ago. Less than a week ago, she also RSVPed. I am choosing to go. I don't want to give her the power to control my actions anymore.

 I would like some advice. Has anybody else been in similar situations? How did you handle it? I'm having a hard time understanding her (if it's even possible to understand her). If I truly didn't want to be around specific people, I wouldn't go to any events they RSVPed to. In fact, I avoided events she RSVPed to in the past.

 I decided to be polite, but not overly friendly. I view her as a sad, lonely person with s lot of problems. I don't want to be mean or rude, but I also don't want to jump back into the toxicity. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Confused108]

Sweet let me say this. Their actions are so crazy and bizAre it's very hard to figure out what's up their sleeve. Mine at 14 told her sister to tell me to never call her again back in 1988. And if I did call her she would then tell my mom what I was doing .Well 2 weeks later she went with a mutual friend of mine to meet me at the movies with one of my friends! After she had her sister tell me to stay away in the phone 2 weeks prior. At the movies my ex stared at me the whole time. When it was time to leave I asked if we could be friends and she said in a cold voice no and I never saw her again. And u know the rest from my stories here. Sounds a lot like your friend right? Her blocking both of you then her sitting next to him? Sounds like the same song playing .  I feel she doesn't know how to handle herself. None of them do. They want us then they don't. They love us u til a replacment comes along and bam we are history. What your ex wants? I don't know but it seems to me she is stalking you in a way. Very sutle but she is everywhere you turn it seems. I'm lucky my ex lives in Canada 6 hours away from me in NY. But I got the same as you. I fake FB friends request. Fake messages where the persons name was Gift Love and their profile pic was a red flatline with the words Heart Injured on it. I like you said hello exs. Name. After that the account was delted right away and I have not gotten another fake FB message since Feb of this year. But then the calls started the hang ups . Calls from Canada with starange cel numbers etc. I have never gotten any calls from Canada before my ex. Now I get them after her. It's her! Ya don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. What your ex wants might be a recycle. She might feel sticking her face in yours might be enough for one. I would suggest going to your event and ignore her. Unless you want her back and this nightmare starts all over . Good luck!

[sweet tooth]

Thank you, confused. The stories do sound eerily similar. I don't want to be in a relationship with her, but I miss her friendship. She was good to me when she wasn't dysregulating. In an ideal world we could be good friends, but her disorder is not ideal.

I don't know what she wants. Trying to figure out a disordered person is fruitless. I'm going to go and have a good time. I'll be polite if she talks to me, but I'm not going to go out of my way to interact with her.