Helpful

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I found this while reading through website and it is very helpful...   I didn't write it but have thought it. 

"Intellectually, I know and accept what happened. I know what I must do.

Emotionally, I still feel an attachment and am still grieving the ambiguous loss associated with her almost appearing like two people... .a Jekyll/Hyde sort of thing... .BPDs can appear very wonderful in the beginning when they need to seduce you to hook you and can be very cold and cruel once they paint you black."

Now to get the emotional part in check.   

[Grissum69]

I found this while reading through website and it is very helpful...   I didn't write it but have thought it. 

"Intellectually, I know and accept what happened. I know what I must do.

Emotionally, I still feel an attachment and am still grieving the ambiguous loss associated with her almost appearing like two people... .a Jekyll/Hyde sort of thing... .BPDs can appear very wonderful in the beginning when they need to seduce you to hook you and can be very cold and cruel once they paint you black."

Now to get the emotional part in check.   

[joeramabeme]

Hi Grissum69

Yes, the emotional part of us Non's is very hard to get in check.

FWIW, if our exes had only showed us an angry side of them, we would have never got attached like we did.  But the nature of pwBPD is that they have opposing internal drives; a yearning for the love they seek and a simultaneous fear of abandonment.  The yearning side is very warm but is misleading because it is not the entirety of the picture.  Your reference to being turned Black, really amounts to their internal fear of abandonment being stronger.  What we experience in the relationship feels like jekyll and Hyde because, inside, the pwBPD is struggling with these conflicting emotions.  On the outside, we see the bouncing back and forth in behavioral changes and the sense that "something is not quite right".

So how are you doing with your internal emotional struggles?  I often have felt like I too became a split person; loving and hating her all at once.