Putting two and two together today...

[NewStart]

Well, doing a little math in my head today... .after reading quit a bit here and on some other resources it seems clear that I have gone through a long term devaluation process and it appears that the "split black" has happened... .my wife no longer speaks to me and no longer responds to any texts... .

So that being said, those of you that have been there... .is there any chance of going white again or am I in for a ride to cheating, divorce and a big court battle?

Thanks for the ear everyone... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ArleighBurke]

Hi and welcome!

Living with a BPD is an endless ride of black/white. I would say there's a great chance you can be white again - multiple times!

Whether she will cheat and divorce - that's harder to predict.

What is you situation? How long have you been together? What are your daily interactions like (before she started ignoring you)?

[NewStart]

ArleighBurke,

Well we've been together about three or four years and married for a little over two. I'm 48 and have two boys from a 17 year marriage and I was divorced for 7 years when I met my current uBPD wife.  She is 45 with a boy and girl from her first marriage and another daughter from a boyfriend post marriage. 

Things were great in the honeymoon phase of course and having been through a relationship like this once before, yes I ignored the red flags, but I figured I'd ask the right questions, trust the answers and not listen to close friends... .mistake... .

Whirlwind romance, I'm everything she ever wanted, she loves me for who I am and we marry after a little over a year of dating.  Then in changes, she wants on my home title, she wants to do a major remodel, she wants me to stop hanging out with certain people, the activities I did I gave up and I was on task with honey dos and kid duty 24-7 and rolled up my sleeves and did it all with a smile.  But, it never seemed to be enough, small stresses here and there and things then just started getting out of control with her raging, spitting on me, hitting me and then saying that these were all things that were done because of my behaviors... .

Anyway, she's probably been devaluing for a year each time with the push away being a little further with the culmination being this latest no contact unless it's impersonal information needed or given... .