Hi. I'm new here.

[MML613]

Hi. I'm 44 . I'm married and have five children.I've been feeling very hopeless when it comes to my relationship with my mother. Every visit sends me spiraling downward. When I was talking to a friend who is also a consoler , she mentioned that from the things I was describing about  my mother  it sounds like she might be Borderline. I've been reading a lot about it since and feel pretty convinced . I feel hopeful for the first time that I might be able to protect myself and my family from my mother by setting limits . And it's scaring and also reassuring  that there are others who might understand what I've lived through. That I'm not crazy and maybe not so alone .

[HappyChappy]

Hi MML613,

When I first landed on this site I also felt hopless about my relationship with my mother, but I’m pleased to say that has improved immensely and the fact you have realised your mother may have BPD means you can also begin healing. Here’s a more scientific link to deciding if someone may have BPD:

Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder

But regardless of the label, it sounds like you struggle with your mothers behaviour, and quiet rightly state you “I want to protect myself and my family from my mother by setting limits” which sounds like a good idea. Boundary setting is the term used of setting limits on this website. Normally BPD parents don’t allow us to set healthy boundaries, so we may need to learn that in adult hood. I know I did. Here are some details:

BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independence

So please feel free to post things that cause you anxiety or just questions that puzzle you. This is not a judgemental site, so don’t hold back and welcome. 

[nenarox2]

You are not alone. I found out through my counselor that my mother might have BPD. So I pushed her to get counseling, where they diagnosed her. Since the, she has attempted 2 other counselors that have given her the same diagnosis. I try to set boundaries, but my mother often crosses them. I am not as great at finding resources for you, but I can tell you that you are not alone. The abuse and rants, they really damage you and as an adult, you can draw your line... .I say this with hope but without true evidence that it gets better. I don't know if it will.