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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Are pwBPD easily bored?  (Read 419 times)
Herodias
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« on: November 01, 2016, 03:45:33 PM »

I am very curious if you all feel your pwBPD was easily bored... .? Mine was always looking for a new hobby or new mistress... .Had to keep occupied all the time. Had to have my attention always... .I couldn't even be on the phone 5 minutes before he was trying to sit in my lap or something to get my attention. I know I am not supposed to care, but in a way I wonder if living out in the middle of no where, he is bored... .? Maybe that is why he is stirring things up with the lawyers again. I suppose it could easily be about money too, but when all you have to do is drink beer, shoot guns and babysit, it would seem like a scary situation. Especially after what I went through with him... .any thoughts?
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SoMadSoSad
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« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2016, 03:50:06 PM »

Maybe he has ADD? But I know what you mean. My ex would be mad when I decided to play video games by myself to the point where she would either cut the game off and force me to spend time with her Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) or eventually graduate to cutting wires on my $1600 computer (not important wires but still).
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Rayban
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« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2016, 03:55:35 PM »

Absolutely!  Always had new projects or hobbies she was dabbling in. Not to mention the people she would meet. I think it would have something to do with filling the void they feel constantly. 

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Herodias
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« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2016, 04:37:36 PM »

" I think it would have something to do with filling the void they feel constantly"

Yes, that it what it seems to me too... .not knowing who they are and trying to stay busy to avoid the void, so to speak. I just can't fathom he will be happy with this way of life very long.
He is not a hunter, but likes to shoot guns for fun. It cost money for bullets. I think the baby momma is wanting to get her horses from her husband and move them up to her hometown and then take away my alimony to pay for them! That's my gut feeling, usually I am right. She may have convinced him that having horses will make him happy. He may take on that hobby copying her, but again... .he doesn't like to work hard at anything. I can't imagine this... .it is so hard to see this city person as a mountain person. It really is strange to me.
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JerryRG
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« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2016, 06:51:05 PM »

My exgf demanded my full attention but when I asked for the simplest thing she would act like I was being rediculous. She was always in a state of anxiety and fear. I remember trying to teach her relaxation techniques but she would just laugh it off. My resting heart beat was 45 to 50, hers was 90 to 120.

Just in a panic all the time, rare moments of calm, I tried to help but she was unreachable.

Always trying/starting something new, very rarely finishing anything unless I encouraged her.

So sad

Good topic Herodias
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Herodias
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« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2016, 07:11:02 PM »

Thanks Jerry... .I know what you mean. My ex actually had some kind of IBS as well. He went to see a doctor about it and had all kinds of tests. They couldn't find anything. I think it's from stress. Always in the bathroom. That's not fun either. I don't think there is anything fun about being them... .except they seem to be able to do what they want and get away with most of it. They just spin around like a tornado and when time passes, the rest of us re-build and try to get over it.
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jasmine-1234
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« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2016, 02:29:15 AM »

My ex def had ADD.  He admitted it too.  He would quit things on a dime. Yes I liked the "anxiety and panick" all the time.  Sometimes his anxiety was so bad he would take Xanax to calm down and just be a zombie. 

When he did want to concentrate though he could do really well at certain things. Like he was super awesome at gardening and taking care of plants.  But many things he would start and not finish, and if I suggested how to do something or make a comment about it he'd often jump down my throat.  Still because he was good at certain things I didn't understand he had Borderline. 

I just remembered that he fixed my clogged kitchen sink about a week before we broke up  more guilt and sadness
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helpinghimorme

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« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2016, 08:00:44 AM »

My ex was always starting a house project, in fact, he would start many at one time.  Then he needed a garage, but he had too many unfinished projects and no money, so he got a girlfriend.  All the sudden he started changing the clothes that he wears and only wears one brand now from head to toe.  It was nothing but chaos for the last two months before I finally threw in the towel.
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DazedandConfus3d
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« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2016, 08:07:17 AM »

Also, since they mirror new relationships and set those up before leaving- new hobbies and interests may be them mirroring their new interest.
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amsheehy

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« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2016, 01:51:58 PM »

Absolutely!  My pwBPD cannot sit still.  I'm not sure that it's so much boredom, but think it's more NEVER being able to be alone with her thoughts.  Always has to be doing something to keep mind occupied.
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