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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: I wish he would just leave us alone.  (Read 471 times)
Dontknow88
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331



« on: October 31, 2016, 08:32:05 AM »

I'm currently working on getting full custody every interaction with him turns out horribly.
he always ends the conversation with (that's all I can manage right now I don't want to talk) I mean it's conversations he started nothing emotionally charging or anything, he literally Flips a switch, storm out then calls as soon as he gets out the door to apologize. i'm sorry but I don't want my child growing up around that. he's all things negative and I'm trying to break free.

and yes I know I have a child so I have to learn to stick it out for the child's sake, but when does it get too much? when can I try to protect my child? Eg Limited visit, no sleepovers at all, I honestly want him to have a relationship with his dad but not the kind where he'll find out how he is.  I am I wrong for not wanting him to be around our child for too long and alone?

i'm pretty insightful on this when he tries to guilt me. he says all these horrible and I realize that I spent some time away and then he tries to guilt me. i've been tired of this for a long time now. I don't need this and our son does it need this. I honestly rather him to go on and live his life and leave us the heck alone. he doesn't want to get help so we don't need that.

please let me know if I'm wrong or not please let me know if you've been in this situation.

and I'll say anyone who has a child with a BPD person consider yourself lucky if they are never around if they don't want much to do with you guys because it is a lot less stress that way.
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12182


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« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2016, 11:31:17 PM »

I don't think you're feeling wrong at all. 

Even if I were to detach myself completely from knowing you here,  the "flipping a switch " behavior would have me concerned as a parent. 
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Dontknow88
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 331



« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2016, 12:47:24 PM »

I don't think you're feeling wrong at all. 

Even if I were to detach myself completely from knowing you here,  the "flipping a switch " behavior would have me concerned as a parent. 

I am just tired and he's trying things legally to take our son away from me.  Then he'll flip his mind over and see that I should have full custody and that he needs help. (mind you it doesn't seem like he says this so he can see his child because he's never seen him in months)

I don't know what to do I don't know how to make this as smooth as possible. now he's willing to give full custody who knows how long you'll be at that likes it but he says if he gives me that he wants to pay the minimal child support and he doesn't need extracurricular. mind you he makes six figures so that shouldn't be all or nothing.

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