Looking for support

[Evelyn Mary]

Hi... .
Where do I start? I have recently found the answer for questions I have been asking since I was 17 when my mother first kicked me out of home. Her parents took me in and that divided the family. I am now very close with my mother's family, and very intermittent with my mother. My grandparents both passed away last year and one of my brothers was killed in September.
My mother is planning on excluding me from scattering my brothers ashes to punish me because she was excluded from her own parents' ashes and their wills. She had refused to speak to them for 8 years after they "interfered" with her parenting in kicking me out of home. She has also manipulated many relatives into believing I am a regular drug user.
I am the only daughter of 4 children my parents have together and I have a genetic disorder which causes chronic illness.
I believe BPD has run through the women of my family for a few generations, I am hoping to cure my self from BPD like traits at least if not somehow fix my mother and in turn help my brothers come to terms with it and heal themselves also
I have ordered some books about being a daughter of a borderline mother and am excited to begin my healing journey
Glad to be here  

[Woolspinner2000]

Welcome Evelyn Mary! 

We are also so glad to have you join our online family! You are not alone in experiencing the hurts and headaches and heartaches that go along with having a BPDm. It stinks, a whole lot. I'm glad you found us though, and there is a ton of information here to help you as you embark on this journey.

I'm really glad too that you are searching for understanding and answers. Do you fear you are BPD yourself? Many of us survivor children of parents with BPD fear the same thing, but most of the time we are merely reflecting back the projections that our parent taught us. Please know that any of the behaviors we learned can also be unlearned. It is an exciting journey of discovery, but it is also painful. Have you taken a look at the Surviors Guide to the right here?  ----------->>> Where do you think you are on the list? It isn't necessarily a linear process. I've traveled up and down the list, often finding myself back to step one each time I make new discoveries. For example, a few weeks ago I suddenly realized not only was my mom uBPD but she was also very much NPD! That pulled the rug out from under me for a few weeks.

I have ordered some books about being a daughter of a borderline mother and am excited to begin my healing journey

I am very glad! What did you order? I would recommend Surviving a Borderline Parent by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman. That was one of my very first books which has become like a bible of sorts to me in helping me to understand the effects of a BPD parent upon my life.

Looking forward to hearing more from you!
 
Wools