Would experienced pwBPD use same tools?

[jammit123]

Let me clarify... .would someone who has had the diagnosis for a long time and who is familiar with all of the lingo, management tools, etc... .go on to use that knowledge on others?  Not sure if my question is clear so let me put it this way:

WOW I think my b___ of a friend (sorry I'm still very angry) has treated ME like I'm the one with BPD!  It occurred to me while I was educating myself on the topic and tools.  I honestly believe that part of our conflict has been out her "trying" to set boundaries with me!  God's honest truth here... .I may have a few traits such as being a little clingy and needing reassurance but I do not fit the mold and I know she in fact does.  My most recent contact with her was her telling my husband to tell me to respect her "personal boundaries".  Sounds like someone who knows their stuff, no?

Would all make sense.  I'm feeling so offended and angry and unfortunately she has likely blocked me from all contact because it's all "too much" for her.  Poor baby.  Ugh.  I'm SOO mad.

OK, so would someone further along in their treatment be capable of using same methods?

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi jammit-

Setting and enforcing boundaries is an interpersonal relationship tool that applies to everyone, not just borderlines, and many folks may not call it that, they may call it "defending themselves" or "standing up for themselves", but the outcome is the same.  Now someone who's gotten some education, therapy or whatever may learn the terms that apply and start using them, true for anyone as well. 

And then there's projection, someone realizing a trait in themselves they don't like, like boundary busting, and assigning that trait to someone else so they don't have to feel it, common in general and not limited to borderlines.

I understand the anger, anger is a normal response to abuse and disrespect.  And it sounds like she's stopped communicating with you so you're left with that anger, although here on the detaching board someone not communicating with us would be a good thing yes?  The anger will pass, it's a stage of grieving and of detachment, and the best thing you can do to support yourself is use the energy of that anger to fuel yourself in a direction that makes positive changes for you in your life; can you think of any?