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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Hi, I'm new here.  (Read 402 times)
Maria6691
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1


« on: December 05, 2016, 03:55:55 PM »

Not sure where to start on this website.  I'm married to someone I'm pretty sure has BPD but also has PTSD which probably makes the BPD worse.   He has some degree of self awareness (emphasize the word some) but I am tired of dealing with 20 years of these behaviors.  We have two children, one teenager still at home, and I find myself increasingly on the edge of having a mental breakdown.  I don' feel like I have  a partner.  I feel like the only rational adult in my house and this is how I have felt about it for along time.  I feel stuck.   Thanks for listening.

Maria
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ArleighBurke
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: was married - 15 yrs
Posts: 911


« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2016, 07:13:20 PM »

Hi and welcome. There are many people here in your situation. We are here to listen, and to help.

I've been with my BPDwife for 17yrs, with 3 kids. Luckily they are not teenagers yet - that will be even more headaches!

Understanding BPD is the first step to helping. Have you read much about it? There are some great published books out there.

Second is slightly changing the way you interact. With some small changes, you should be able to feel a bit more in control. You will still be the only functioning adult - we can't change that - but perhaps you can keep your sanity!

What are some typical interactions you have with him? What does he do to put you on edge?
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Mutt
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2016, 09:14:31 PM »

Hi Maroa6691,  

Welcome

I'd like to join  Bullet: contents of text or email (click to insert in post) ArleighBurke and welcome you. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad that you decided to join us. It helps to share with others so you don't like you're  through alone. Bullet: contents of text or email (click to insert in post) ArleighBurke has some really  good advice and I'd just like to add my two cents. Self care is really important when you feel depleted. What do you for self care?
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