EMDR Therapy Thoughts?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am 2.5 mos no contact after lashing out at her drunk twice via email following the breakup. She had her kids contact me both times and tell me to leave her alone. I have SO MUCH guilt over this. A couple days prior to the breakup she said we would be together forever and told me if we broke up that she wouldn't be dating for the longest time because no one could ever compare to me and she needed time to self reflect (she is not capable of self reflection because EVERYTHING is someone else's fault) and heal. We were together for two years and I have been walking on eggshells and clearly addicted for a long time. Anyway a few days after saying we would be together forever she told me to "shut up" for no apparent reason on her way over on the phone. The next morning she said we are done forever and within days she is with a new guy.

I don't understand why I stayed with her as long as I did. She is high functioning with no cutting, physical abuse,  or infidelity but exhibits all of the other signs.

I am seeing a Counselor and she is concerned with my lack of progress and how severe my depression is(I'm taking meds as well). I've lost all interests in my hobbies, lost about 20 pounds, and have missed a lot of work over the last couple of months as some days I could not get out of bed and would sleep for basically 50 hours at a time. I can honestly say that  these are the worst days of my life. My counselor has proposed trying EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to see if it can help me detach  and minimize some of the trauma.

I'm just curious as to if anyone has tried this and if it was effective or not?

Thank You

[Duped 1]

I am 2.5 mos no contact after lashing out at her drunk twice via email following the breakup. She had her kids contact me both times and tell me to leave her alone. I have SO MUCH guilt over this. A couple days prior to the breakup she said we would be together forever and told me if we broke up that she wouldn't be dating for the longest time because no one could ever compare to me and she needed time to self reflect (she is not capable of self reflection because EVERYTHING is someone else's fault) and heal. We were together for two years and I have been walking on eggshells and clearly addicted for a long time. Anyway a few days after saying we would be together forever she told me to "shut up" for no apparent reason on her way over on the phone. The next morning she said we are done forever and within days she is with a new guy.

I don't understand why I stayed with her as long as I did. She is high functioning with no cutting, physical abuse,  or infidelity but exhibits all of the other signs.

I am seeing a Counselor and she is concerned with my lack of progress and how severe my depression is(I'm taking meds as well). I've lost all interests in my hobbies, lost about 20 pounds, and have missed a lot of work over the last couple of months as some days I could not get out of bed and would sleep for basically 50 hours at a time. I can honestly say that  these are the worst days of my life. My counselor has proposed trying EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to see if it can help me detach  and minimize some of the trauma.

I'm just curious as to if anyone has tried this and if it was effective or not?

Thank You

[Julia S]

I've heard about it and would try it if it was available near me for panic attacks.

[Skip]

Some members had discussed it here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=37825.0

Sorry you are struggling. Hang in there.

[joeramabeme]

Hi Duped - I have experience and if I may, would like to suggest that you be sure whomever the T is you are seeing is well credentialed and experienced before moving forward with this.

EMDR can be very helpful but should be sought with an experienced professional.

Do you think your depression is solely related to your breakup or are other issues from your own past surfacing?

[Skyglass]

Yes, I've been doing EMDR for a few months now with my therapist. It takes time, patience, and dedication to your sessions. For me, it appears to be working.

[Tia]

Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy Author: Francine Shapiro , PhD Publisher: Rodale Books (March 26, 2013) Paperback: 352 pages ISBN-10: 1609619951 ISBN-13: 978-1609619954

I know two adult women who said EMDR was a miracle for them, so I started my niece with an EMDR therapist last October, and I pray daily that she too will be able to say that EMDR helped her reprocess and get permanent relief from her pain.

I am reading Getting Past Your Past - Taking Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy by Francine Shapiro, PhD.  I highly recommend the book and EMDR therapy!