What do I do

[Knorrismom]

I am lost. Widower of 3 that married a man 14 years younger. I knew he needed to grow up but figured it would come in time. Realizing it isn't maturity and that something is seriously wrong with him. I would have left a long time ago but my son sees him as his dad. Even corrects mewhen I call his birth father dad and says no, bill is my dad. I am confused. Bill can be the most amazing person ever but cannot sustain it. Completely narcissistic... .always chooses based on his feelings and not what is right or best for our family. Been married 5 years and now we have a baby. Since having baby I realized there are things not acceptable. I am foundation for my 11yo but he is foundation for our baby. I am ashamed I didn't hold him to same standards for my 11yo that I do my baby. We are bankrupt because of his narcissistic spending. We have a psychiatrist appointment soon and I am sure the diagnosis will be BPD.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Knorrismom:    
I'm so sorry for your situation.   

I am confused. Bill can be the most amazing person ever but cannot sustain it. We have a psychiatrist appointment soon and I am sure the diagnosis will be BPD.

I'm glad to hear that you are reaching out for help.  Generally, psychiatrist appointment are short visits and lead to the prescription of meds.  Is there a plan for counseling with a licensed therapist?  A combination of both a psychiatrist and a psychologist can be a good thing.

Does your husband have a history of problems with anxiety or depression?  Does anyone in his immediate family have a history of mental health issues?

I am foundation for my 11yo but he is foundation for our baby. I am ashamed I didn't hold him to same standards for my 11yo that I do my baby.

Are you able to share some examples of this?  In what ways does he deal with your son differently?  Is he in any way abusive to your son, or is it a matter on not giving him attention and validation?