I'm Devastated...

[Herodias]

I am devastated after months on this case my ex filed against me. His case was practically thrown out as the judge gave his lawyer a lesson in family law when my ex didn't show up to court and presented a ridiculous story that was obviously a lie. Long story short, he wanted to walk away with out paying me back the attorneys fees that I incurred from his frivolous lawsuit. I didn't back down. We were supposed to mediate today, but it was cancelled due to his telling his lawyer he was not going to show up. He also told his lawyer he could no longer pay his fees and is behind with him. This after getting thirty-five thousand dollars from taking his 401K money out early when he quit his job and paying the penalties for early withdrawal. He fraudulently didn't put this asset on our divorce papers. He spent all of the money on himself (not his baby as he claimed he needed money for) in extravagant ways as we saw on his bank records.  He did not pay some of the money he owed me on the divorce decree and now is in contempt. We have been trying and trying to settle with him, but he seems to be now avoiding his own lawyer and is filing bankruptcy in order to avoid a judgement against him to pay back my attorneys fees.  I am in shock that there doesn't seem to be any recourse for me. I have lost thousands of dollars that I should have been easily able to get back. I am even willing to let him make very small payments!  There is a thought that his bankruptcy will fail since he had all of that money and blew through it instead of paying back credit card debt he had when we got divorced... .non of it mine mind you as he incurred these while we were separated and he was womanizing. I can't believe the courts allow this to happen.  If I continue with the case, it costs me more money that I do not have. The hold up would be in bankruptcy court.  He may never have to pay me or pay me 10 percent. I cannot afford to pay any more. I may go down to the court and file my own contempt of court charge on the little bit he owes me that was on file and his lack of an insurance policy with my being a beneficiary,  but since this big amount is pending it will more than likely go away if they don't charge him with fraudulent bankruptcy in the end. This is incredibly unfair. I told my lawyer that I want proof of the bankruptcy as well, since he is a liar. I think the lawyers finally see that I have been telling the truth the whole time. Mine said his lawyer said he wished he had interviewed him better when he first met him.  My ex says his lawyer is the one who came up with the bankruptcy idea... .I kinda doubt it if he owed him money, but who knows who to trust anymore. Anyone have any advice? This is incredibly unfair. Anyone can sue anyone and that person just has to pay and pay to defend themselves... .It is not right.

[ForeverDad]

You can't depend on him or his lawyer to provide the information and guidance you need.  For example... .Has he really filed bankruptcy?  Has he listed you as a creditor in his bankruptcy filing?  I believe bankruptcy rules require him to list the debts and creditors he is seeking relief from.  If he doesn't include you then my understanding (not legal advice!) it that his debts or liabilities to you are not impacted and so maybe you can still file and pursue claims against him.

Meanwhile, keep pursuing the matter in your current court.  If you think an alternative legal perspective may help, get an inexpensive consultation with a reputable attorney who also has experience in bankruptcy matters.

About 25 years ago I had exposure to bankruptcy court.  A tenant in a building I cared for filed for bankruptcy and included 2 months back rent that was unpaid.  Well, for them to get that relief, it meant the landlord/tenant relationship could be terminated as compensation to the creditor.  That was their undoing, he had a rent regulated apartment he wanted to keep at the below-market rent.  Anywhere else in the area he would probably have paid 2 or 3 times as much or even more.  Until he tried to stick two months rent to the landlord there was no way to tell them goodbye.  Well, once the bankruptcy was ordered, it was landlord's choice whether to allow them to remain.  It took over a year in housing court, the most they could do was delay, but finally they were out.  All to save about $1000.  Oh, and the kicker is that he was a housing court lawyer!  He assumed too much and faced eventual consequences.

[Herodias]

Thanks Foreverdad,
    I think his whole point to the bankruptcy is that he wants to put a "stay" on the possible judgement against him. We are waiting to see if he really files or not. Thankfully I think my lawyer finally believes me about my ex and now knows I am not just some histrionic type that is out to get my ex- after 2 years she finally gets it. I wrote her and said that I am really disappointed that the court system is so slow, because I know I would have won the case and he would have had to pay me back with the money he had. Now it is too late. She still seems to think he will make a deal. I told her to get his address and I would file contempt myself, since I could no longer afford to keep paying her since I have probably lost all of this money. She said she would like to finish the case for me and she would file the contempt charge at no cost to me. I am glad to hear she has a heart. Hopefully the threat of jail will get him to make a deal with me. I also read about "vexatious litigants" and I am wondering if that is something I would be able to file on him... .I don't want to have to keep going to court on his whims in the future.
    That is crazy about the housing court lawyer... .people will do anything it seems... .sad. Thanks for the tips.