Not sure what to do after a 15 year marriage

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm not sure what to do with this situation. My husband of 15 years (second marriage) is very difficult to be with. Although I'm not a clinician, he certainly seems to fix the  profile of  a BPD. We've been through therapy over the years, but nothing seems to work. I think we've both given up on that. The constant anger over the smallest things makes me feel like I have to watch everything that  I say and do. Today, he told me that, "... .if you can just stop bringing up topics  that make me upset, then we can have peace." I've thought a lot over the years about getting out of  this marriage, but I never seem to be able to do it. There is a lot at stake. I have no one  to talk to about this. Looking for support and  guidance.

[jada]

I'm not sure what to do with this situation. My husband of 15 years (second marriage) is very difficult to be with. Although I'm not a clinician, he certainly seems to fix the  profile of  a BPD. We've been through therapy over the years, but nothing seems to work. I think we've both given up on that. The constant anger over the smallest things makes me feel like I have to watch everything that  I say and do. Today, he told me that, "... .if you can just stop bringing up topics  that make me upset, then we can have peace." I've thought a lot over the years about getting out of  this marriage, but I never seem to be able to do it. There is a lot at stake. I have no one  to talk to about this. Looking for support and  guidance.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Hi jada,



I'm sorry things are difficult in your relationship right now. Constant anger is really hard to take over time. It sounds like you are walking on eggshells in order to keep the peace, which can take a toll.

You are not alone—so many of the members here can relate to what you are going through. There is hope for things to get better. The site has tons of tools and resources that can help.

What kind of things does he get angry about?

Here is an article that you may find helpful in managing the frequent conflict:

Ending Conflict

Please continue to post. It really helps to share your experiences with others. We're here to support you. 

heartandwhole