Hello Reenierose, welcome to the group
It can already be difficult to have three generations living under one roof. When BPD is involved, it doesn't get easier, as you are well aware. It's good you're able to reach out for some help as you navigate this new arrangement.
Has your D45 been diagnosed with BPD, or is it more of a suspicion of yours? If she has been diagnosed, does she accept the diagnosis, and is she in any kind of treatment?
How old is your granddaughter? How's she doing with the move, and with her mom's behaviors? Is she young enough to need her mom's help a lot, or is she old enough to be more self-sufficient?
It sounds really difficult to be exposed to blame and rage in your own home. Does your D45 usually blame/rage at you in person, or via phone/text/social media, or some other way?
Not sure if you've seen this yet -- we do have a section of articles on
When a teen or adult child has Borderline Personality Disorder. Might be a good starting place, or at least spark some questions/thoughts for you that we can talk about here.
Make yourself at home here... we understand.
kells76