'normal' people just don't understand at all

[Me88]

I'm getting a little frustrated with the whole 'man up and get over it', 'just move on already', 'who cares if you have to work by her? it's your job'

I am getting over it, in my time. I am in therapy. I am not seeking reconciliation. And, our jobs do not intersect at all, there is truly no reason to work around her by choice. That's dumb. The whole 'good girl' façade at work would be annoying in its own right.

The same people said I needed boundaries and to stand up for myself. And once I finally am, it's a different story from them. I'm finally saying, I want my peace. I want my place of work to be one of comfort and focusing on work. I'm not going crazy, ignoring people, I'm doing my job 100%. I simply don't want to have gone through a crazy breakup and then have to be around this person all the time.

I didn't choose for this to happen. Every domino fell awfully. Her old building needed a new roof, the federal return to work order happened, the facility took her building for returning employees, then they took the building she was placed in as well. We're not in the same service. The plan is for her team of 3 to be placed elsewhere at the end of May, which I believe is true. I just need some actual space from all of this. Actual space.

I've done great on my healing journey so far. I just want that moment where another weight is lifted. I will always do my job, but I will not volunteer to be around her at all.

Just venting.

[Me88]

everyone comes at this like a 'things just didn't work out'. No, I put in 200%. I made mistakes yes, but dang if I wasn't dedicated. Towards the end I was just mentally broken. Didn't know up from down, left from right, black from white. The fog was so heavy. Majority of my days were apologizing or defending myself. My facial expressions, if I took a deep breath after a long day, if one slip up happened...I was yelled at, criticized, and reminded how I wasn't a good person, etc. It did break me. I admit that, and now I'm rebuilding, even if it's in my own way and not theirs.

And this is coming from people who said to escalate to HR if necessary. Don't compromise on my boundaries and peace. Now, 'just get over it'. No, I'm finally putting myself and my health first.

[stevemcduck]

hi

I can see you are clearly frustrated.

I totally understand how hard it is when people just don't understand the pain you are in, "there are plenty more fish in the sea" "you are better off without her" you don't deserve that" " do you really want to deal with this all of your life" "is it worth it to feel this way" "you need to relax" "she was just a girl, move on"

I get it buddy, that's what we are here for, feel free to rant to me I know exactly what you are going through, people can't undetand because they haven't been through it. its like mental torture. its been the hardest thing I have been through in my life.