Hello

[Cerulean Star]

 all!

I'm Sephirah, and my father seems to have BPD/Narcissism. I'm joining you in order to learn how should I behave when he has his anger moods and starts shouting offensive ideas he has about me.

Hope you all the best and thanks in advance.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome  Cerulean Star:  

I'm sorry that your dad seems to have BPD/Narcissism.  Has he ever had any diagnosis or treatment for any mental health issue?

You can't change him, but you can learn some communication skills and strategy that can help you.

The links below lead to some specific information that will likely be helpful:

SETTING  BOUNDARIES
https://www.httsp://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0

AVOIDING CIRCULAR ARGUMENTS
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=118892.0;all

DON'T INVALIDATE
https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating

Learning to set some boundaries and how to avoid arguments can be good strategies to learn.  It takes some practice, but you can set a boundary to stop engaging when your father is in an angry mood, and to do it in such a way that you stay calm and remove yourself from the situation.

Check out the lessons at the above links.  After that, perhaps you can give us a recent or typical example of an argument with your father and we can help you plan some strategy.  It can take some time and practice to learn and get use to some of the communication skills.  

We look forward to hearing more of your story.  

[P.F.Change]

Hi, Cerulean Star!

I'm glad you've joined us. Would you be able to tell us a little bit more about your situation? How much contact do you have with your father currently--are you living in the same household? What's it like when he gets angry, and how do you typically respond?

Looking forward to hearing more from you when you feel ready.

Wishing you peace,
PF