I'm lost

[Parents! Get help here!]

I don't even know how to start this or what to even say. I feel empty. I feel lost. I feel like I failed her. I knew there was an extremely high chance of Bipolar because I'm bipolar. I didn't know anything about BPD. But it fits and for some reason I felt bad about the bipolar because I passed on the genes but BPD..... I feel like is my fault. I didn't protect her like I should have because of my own fears and traumas. When I had her sister I had no idea how to be a mom to 2 children and was still trying to keep my mental health in check and I feel like because of that she felt abandoned by me. Again. She was admitted to the hospital for a suicide attempt. I was less than 30 seconds away from doing CPR on her. Her discharge date is tomorrow and the hospital really thinks she's doing better and seems to be handling things maturely. I went to visitation last night and she's just trying to make it to tomorrow so she can get out. The things she told me though, she's not better. If anything she's worse. She says what she needs to say so she can go home. She actually said I almost (did something she wasn't suppposed to) but I didn't because I knew they'd keep me longer. My daughter is very intelligent and has learned a lot of psychology/mental health etc. from me and I feel like all I did was teach her how to wear her mask better and I'm really PLEASE READed up about it.

[Broken Mom 2012]

I don't even know how to start this or what to even say. I feel empty. I feel lost. I feel like I failed her. I knew there was an extremely high chance of Bipolar because I'm bipolar. I didn't know anything about BPD. But it fits and for some reason I felt bad about the bipolar because I passed on the genes but BPD..... I feel like is my fault. I didn't protect her like I should have because of my own fears and traumas. When I had her sister I had no idea how to be a mom to 2 children and was still trying to keep my mental health in check and I feel like because of that she felt abandoned by me. Again. She was admitted to the hospital for a suicide attempt. I was less than 30 seconds away from doing CPR on her. Her discharge date is tomorrow and the hospital really thinks she's doing better and seems to be handling things maturely. I went to visitation last night and she's just trying to make it to tomorrow so she can get out. The things she told me though, she's not better. If anything she's worse. She says what she needs to say so she can go home. She actually said I almost (did something she wasn't suppposed to) but I didn't because I knew they'd keep me longer. My daughter is very intelligent and has learned a lot of psychology/mental health etc. from me and I feel like all I did was teach her how to wear her mask better and I'm really PLEASE READed up about it.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ocean17]

Im so sorry youre going through this, it sounds like youre trying your best to help her and thats priceless, regardless of the past. Have you spoken privately with the doctors/nurses? Im sorry I dont have much advice other than do what you need to do keep her safe and worry about the rest later.. and look after yourself, its so emotionally taxing to be living with that fear/guilt all the time.. xx

[I Am Redeemed]

I don't even know how to start this or what to even say. I feel empty. I feel lost. I feel like I failed her. I knew there was an extremely high chance of Bipolar because I'm bipolar. I didn't know anything about BPD. But it fits and for some reason I felt bad about the bipolar because I passed on the genes but BPD..... I feel like is my fault. I didn't protect her like I should have because of my own fears and traumas. When I had her sister I had no idea how to be a mom to 2 children and was still trying to keep my mental health in check and I feel like because of that she felt abandoned by me. Again. She was admitted to the hospital for a suicide attempt. I was less than 30 seconds away from doing CPR on her. Her discharge date is tomorrow and the hospital really thinks she's doing better and seems to be handling things maturely. I went to visitation last night and she's just trying to make it to tomorrow so she can get out. The things she told me though, she's not better. If anything she's worse. She says what she needs to say so she can go home. She actually said I almost (did something she wasn't suppposed to) but I didn't because I knew they'd keep me longer. My daughter is very intelligent and has learned a lot of psychology/mental health etc. from me and I feel like all I did was teach her how to wear her mask better and I'm really PLEASE READed up about it.

Hi. Welcome to the community. It sounds like you're really going through a lot right now.

I'm in a similar situation. My D17 is back in the psych hospital for a suicide attempt, as well. We suspect bipolar and possibly BPD.

That Mom Guilt is really something, isn't it?

I, too, feel guilty for the mental health issues my children (six in all) suffer. I'm diagnosed with OCD and complex PTSD and I totally get overwhelmed with managing my own mental health sometimes. It's a lot 

Does your daughter see anyone for outpatient therapy?