Can anyone relate?

[DogLover79]

Just need some support
Hello! I was in a shirt four month relationship with a woman who was amazing for the first two months. The trouble started small, she would be upset if I asked someone else for help or didn’t need her to go with me somewhere. We had a language barrier so I thought I could be that. She wanted me to live with her after two months, I thought it was too soon, but she was sweet and I got caught up thinking maybe it’s a fairtlytale and I’m pushing her away. Things seemed to get worse and insisted some space. She accused me of lying, tricking her and many other things that were not true. I felt bad for her, asked her to go to therapy she went once. At my next session, my therapist said she couldn’t ethical diagnose her after one visit, but that I should read about BPD because she may have traits. She broke up with me, three weeks later got back together. She has accused me twice of cheating when I was at work, I sent her groceries to be helpful she accused me of mocking her, one day I asked what she was doing and she said I was controlling her. She broke up with me again, calmed down and a day later broke up with me again. She is telling me I am a master of words because i try to tell her I care. She got mad because i was looking at condos instead of cooking with her and said i didn’t want to be part of her daily life…when I said I didn’t know going grocery shopping was important and I would go, she told me I was a liar and just agreeing to keep her. It sounds like a lot and it is a lot. I’m doing okay, a bit relieved it’s over, but I’m looking for people who can relate.

[kells76]

Hello DogLover79 and

Wow, that's a fast timeline... and, a very familiar one to members here. It's not uncommon for the pwBPD (persons with BPD) in our lives to make big decisions much more quickly than we would, and sometimes to change their minds rapidly and surprisingly. My husband's kids' mom was engaged to my husband's best friend about 3-4 months after divorcing my husband, and married 3 months after that. These choices often don't make sense to us.

Often, when describing BPD breakups to others, people don't always understand fully what we went through -- the blame, rage, anger, threats, and distortions are not "typical" breakup features.

Have you been able to talk to anyone (friends, family, coworkers) about what happened? How did they respond?