Just had a baby with male borderline partner - please help

[lisaea1523]

My S/O is a male borderline we just had a baby 3 weeks ago. Everything was going great until 1 week ago when he began major splitting and devaluation triggered by issues with his Mom and an intense emotional outburst from my 8 yr old daughter when she got in trouble at school and then at home. He has ignored me for the past week, emotionally abusive texts all day long saying he hates me, Im evil, narcissist, ect also threatening to leave. This is common pattern for him and occurs every couple weeks varying in how long it lasts - sometimes days or weeks. Tonight he was crying which I never see and continues to ssay he is done. He is accusing me of keeping the baby from him when I havent he had ignored her and said he doesnt want to see her. What can I do to help him- Ive tried everything - supportive validating responses, acknowledging his feelings and sympathizing nothing is calming him down. Ive reassured him repeatedly that I love him, need him and can't live without him. He always threatens to leave but never does. Not even for a few days to get away he always comes back but then rants and ignores sleeping in another room for days. He always says he'll leave but he never has actually left. He is at a point where he is not hearing me at all and nothing I say is calming him. Hes been extremely verbally abusive Ive told him repeatedly I cant take this anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated- thanks so much- he is not in therapy and no meds

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