Help!

[AuntAnnie]

I don’t even know where to start.
My 74 yr old sister was just diagnosed with cancer treatable only by chemo and life expectancy 6 -24 months.Her daughter, my 43 yr old niece, has been diagnosed but never treated. Both are also hoarders. They live 3 hours away. My first visit I just went up to get a lay of the land. 2nd visit we started cleaning “extra” stuff out, but only my sisters. My niece goes off the wall if we even touch her “stuff” including over 150 bottles of nail polish (she doesn’t use). I just finished reading Stop Walking on Eggshells but this coming week we are going to have a more serious talk. I am staying in a hotel because I am afraid to stay in their house for safety reasons and for her getting in my face and screaming which she has done 1x before. I honestly don’t even know what I am asking for. This is my first post and I am overwhelmed (ie, I am 69).

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders