How to get current counselor to consider it might be BPD

[kygirl49]

I am new to this site and have been researching BPD since my own counselor suggested it could be what my step-daughter who is 15 is experiencing. I decided to go to a counselor to share my concerns about what I was seeing in my step-daughter for the last 3-4 years. Everyone else in the family just called it "her drama" or "just a teen angst" but it seemed much more than that to me. My counselor immediately suggested we look at BPD traits and when we did, I saw nine of the 10 symptoms in my step-daughter, that have been present for a few years. The challenge is that her current counselor and psychiatrist won't look at BPD as a possibility, they say she is too young to be assessed and it is just anxiety. I would say anxiety does not make a child do the things she does. Any suggestions?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Kygirl49:  

Sorry to hear of the problems with your step daughter.  They generally wait until age 18 to give a BPD diagnosis.  You don't need to wait for a diagnosis to start using strategist skills and communication techniques.

The Tools listed in the margin to the right can make a difference. Check them out one at a time and give them a try.

What are some of her most disturbing behaviors?  Has she learned any coping skills and self soothing techniques from her counselor?