Introduction

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi all. I live with my BPD mother. She and I have always butted heads, and I've suffered decades of emotional, mental, and verbal abuse from her rages and also neglect from her dissociative episodes. I live with her to keep from being homeless, but I often wonder if it might be healthier to be homeless.  I hope to read and post more as I learn more about BPD, but I don't foresee mom seeking any treatment help, so I mostly just need emotional support until I can get out of this toxic situation.

[Shanakin27]

Hi all. I live with my BPD mother. She and I have always butted heads, and I've suffered decades of emotional, mental, and verbal abuse from her rages and also neglect from her dissociative episodes. I live with her to keep from being homeless, but I often wonder if it might be healthier to be homeless.  I hope to read and post more as I learn more about BPD, but I don't foresee mom seeking any treatment help, so I mostly just need emotional support until I can get out of this toxic situation.

[Naughty Nibbler]

 
Welcome Shanakin27:   

I'm sorry you are struggling, while living with your BPD mom.  Do you have a plan to gain your independence and ability to make it on your own?  Perhaps finding a job, or learning some skills for a better job?

You can't change your mom, but you can make things better for you by setting some personal boundaries and using some communication skills.

If you go to the large green band at the very top of the page, you will finds a "tools" menu.  The skill links there are a good place to start.  Check out the lesson on boundaries.  Boundaries are for you to set.  They are for you protection (emotional and physical), and are up to you to consistently enforce them.  You mom won't likely like them, but they are for you.

Can you share some examples of your mom's behaviors?  If you are able to share, we can perhaps guide you to some specific lessons that might be most helpful for you.  Read the lesson on boundaries and then let us know what boundaries might be beneficial for you?