Really, really could use help or guidance

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello.

I am in a relationship with a BPD.

A few weeks ago I starting reading some books on BPD and... .I guess like many people, I just wanted to start crying. It explained everything. Every. Thing.

So I am trying to figure out what to do next. I am just beginning to read the info on this site.

But if someone could point me to any information about... .do we *tell* the BPD we are viewing the problem as BPD?

I have been thinking not to say anything. But it feels kind of dishonest.

Thank you.

[Nonorway]

Hello.

I am in a relationship with a BPD.

A few weeks ago I starting reading some books on BPD and... .I guess like many people, I just wanted to start crying. It explained everything. Every. Thing.

So I am trying to figure out what to do next. I am just beginning to read the info on this site.

But if someone could point me to any information about... .do we *tell* the BPD we are viewing the problem as BPD?

I have been thinking not to say anything. But it feels kind of dishonest.

Thank you.

[Doughboy]

Welcome.

It sounds like you are confused about what to do and most of us are at the beginning.  It allegedly gets better with time and knowledge, .

The general thought is to not say anything that direct as it will be taken negatively.

Try reading this as it explains things a little better:

https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-to-get-borderline-into-therapy

What types of issues are you seeing that has brought you to this decision?

[ArleighBurke]

There is a lot you can learn. This board has ALL the lessons
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0

But I would suggest starting with 1.10 - Validation.

Post lots of questions. Do lots of searching. I am sure that WHATEVER you are going through, 100 people here already have as well.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Nonorway, Agree w/those above that it's not your place to tell your SO about the possibility of BPD, which is likely to be poorly received and is a subject best left to a professional.  I don't view your silence on the subject as dishonest, because presumably you lack the training and expertise to make a valid medical assessment.  Suggest you leave the diagnosing to professionals.

Fill us in on your situation, when you get a chance.  How long have you been in a r/s with a pwBPD?  What makes you think your SO has BPD?  We've been down this road before you.

LuckyJim

[Nonorway]

Hi Arleigh, Lucky Jim and Ox.

Thank you for replying. The links you have listed are super helpful. I have made an appointment with a therapist local to me who has experience with BPD. I am looking forward to that.

A is correct there is a LOT on this forum of other people experiencing what I am going through. Truthfully, it is a bit overwhelming. The skills training workshop is super helpful.

Thank you.

[Doughboy]

A is correct there is a LOT on this forum of other people experiencing what I am going through. Truthfully, it is a bit overwhelming. The skills training workshop is super helpful.
 

The is a TON of information.  There are also many books you can purchase. 

My warning to you though is to remember to take time for yourself and your interests every day.  It is VERY EASY to go down the BPD research rabbit hole and get overwhelmed/obsessed.

Good Luck