Hi, this is my first post ever, I´m 27 YO. I just wanted to tell my story cause I really don´t know what to do and I really hope somebody can give some advice on what to do. (My english isn´t very good, so sorry in advance for that :/ )
My story is pretty similar to what I´ve been reading on the forum, I met a girl 11 months ago on my workplace (we are co workers) after a while we started a romantic relationship, everything was amazing she claimed she was in love with me, every moment I spend with her was just amazing, For the first time in my life i felt i had found the right person. But after some ¨incident¨everything went down. Everything happened after a party that we attended (it was her cousin's birthday) that night everything was cool, she was a little drunk and then she smoked some weed, after smoking she told me she wasnt feeling Ok (she looked really bad) and that she wanted to rest, so she told her cousing to use one of the beds in the house. I kept drinking with her cousin and after a while we felt asleep on the living room. To the next day I woke her up to go back to our respective homes, on the ride back she was very quiet, after a while she told me that when she was drunk/stoned somebody tried to abuse her, I told her that we needed to go to the police or something, she told me not to do anything, cause the guy who tried to abuse her was the husband of one of her cousin's and she didn't want to do anything cause that could destroy her cousin family... .after a while she convinced me to do nothing... .that same day a few hours later I got a call of her mom she told me that she didn´t know what to do cause her daughter didn't want to do anything and she was worried cause her daughter was really depressed. we both tried for several days to convince her to go to the police, but she did nothing (BTW in our country anybody can go to the police in a case like this, but if the victim doesn't want to testify there is nothing much more you can do).
After that incident she began to smoke weed like 6-8 times per day, she could began to smoke at 3pm with her friends and go back home like 2am after a non stop smoking session( she has always smoke weed, but not that much, cause she gets really bad ), during this period I was really worried for her, so I told her that maybe she needed to reduce a little the quantity she was smoking cause it was like too much... .I swear I tried to tell this in the nicest way possible, but she just exploded against me, she told me that I was trying to ¨change¨her, that I didn´t accept her like she was, and that she didn´t know if she could stay with somebody who was trying to change her and manipulate her... .that we hat to many differences to stay together (prior to this she used to tell me that she was in love with me, that we had so many things in common, and that she felt that I was the guy she has been looking for)... .we argued like 3 days about this, until I decided to say that she was right, that it was my fault... .after this everything was ¨normal¨again, until she began to stop calling me, or messaging me, when I called her or text her, her only respones were: yes, IDK, maybe, yup everything is Ok, Ok TTL... .then after a few days of this, she told me that she wanted to leave the city, leave her work and everything, that she didn´t want to keep our relationship (cause the ¨differences¨) I really tried to talk with her, but she was really decided, I felt really bad, I cried a lot, cause I knew she wasn´t feeling ok, and for some reason I felt like in some point it was my fault.
During this period I felt really bad, cause I mean have to see her every day and she was really cold with me, not even a ¨hi¨ on our workplace, during this period I decided to look for other job, cause I was getting really depressed for all of this, somehow she found out that I was looking for other job, and she began to act really aggresive at work, I decided to confront her about her attitude, she told me that she was dissapointed cause what I was doing (looking for other job) was like a betrayal... .I explained her my reasons, I told her that I loved her and for me it was really hard to see how the girl that I love just act like I´m not even there, she said that it wasn´t a valid reason, after discussing this for a while we kinda fix it up our relation, everything was kinda cool for a while, until this month when her younger sister got pregnant, she was really upset for this cause her mother didn't reprimand her, instead she supported her, all this was a big deal for her, she decided to go NC with her mother and her sister (they live together) and she began to look for a house leave her mother and sister. During this period she ranted every day about how her mother was really irresponsible for supporting her daughter, that her mother never supported her and instead only criticized her. Of course this time I decided just to smile and listen her, and it pretty much worked fine... .until I found out that she was cheating on me with an ex boyfriend, I had real solid proves ( chats, witnesses and other stuff), once again I decided to confront her about this, so one day after thinking the best way to do it, i just told her : ¨hey honey why are you dating this guy, I mean is fine if you don't want to stay in a relationship with me, you just had to tell me, you know I would understand¨, of course she told me that anything of that was true, that she didn't know how I could say that, that she barely talked with this guy, that maybe he was making up everythig just to brag... .I just acted like I believed her, after all I just wanted to let her knew that I wasn´t stupid. after this she was acting normal, just worried about ¨the problem¨ with her sister and her mother, until 2 weeks ago the company we work in, went for a 2 week recess to sanitize and do some pest control, in this 2 weeks she went NC, she blocked me on her phone and all her social networks, I mailed her asking her if everything was ok, she told me that she needed some time to make up her mind, that after a while she would contact me again... .I replied telling her that I was worried, that maybe I should visit her (she lives in a small town 1hour from the city), she replied really angry, telling me to leave her alone, telling me that I'm nobody to try to take care of her... .I mailed her 6 days a go telling her that i missed her, that if I did something wrong I was sorry, but that I really needed to see her or at least hear her voice on the phone, she just replied me: I'm Ok. 3 days ago her mom called me asking me if I knew something about what was going on with her daugher, cause she was not just not talking to her and her sister, but also she was locked on her room all day long, that she only leaved her room when she was out, that she didn't even talked with her older sister who came back from Italy to spend some time with her during this 2 weeks. I told her that I was in the same position, that I have trying to contact her, but she has me blocked from everything.
IDK what to do know, next monday we will be back at work, I don't know how she is gonna act, if she is gonna act like before ignoring me, IDK if she is gonna be there at all or what. we even had plans for a little trip on the first weekend of august. I don´t know if I just should asume that I don´t have a GF anymore and just try act cool this next monday... .or if I should try to talk with her, she never before went full NC so I don´t have idea about what to do next.
any advice would be nice
Ps: sorry again for my crappy english :c
