anyone here have issue with smoking marijuana, from either person ?

[lucky013]

Has many people here used weed as a coping mechanism from a dysfunctional relationship ?
Or for any other reason?
Seen people talk about drinking and other substances to self medicate on here
As in the process of splitting from ex, and trying to quit this too but finding it a crux.

[prof]

My uBPDw is a frequent weed smoker.  (I've never touched it.)

She claims it's for pain from her auto-immune disorder (we don't live in a state where she could do this legally).  She does have a past history of drug abuse (you name the drug, she probably tried it in her youth, years before we met).

It's always been an issue I don't really know where to stand on.  On one hand, it helps her with pain, and she's generally happier when she can smoke than when she can't.  On the other hand, it's expensive and illegal.  (She smoked a lot when we were in grad school, and I watched a non-trivial proportion of my tiny TA paycheck literally go up in smoke.)

She's quit a few times during our relationship -- twice when we moved for my job and before she could find a dealer, and once when she was afraid a drug test would prevent her from continuing her oxycontin/oxycodone prescriptions.

She's never claimed that it helps her cope with our relationship.  But where we live now, she usually smokes alone (her dealer lives over an hour away).  In the past, she had a close circle of weed-smoking friends she could smoke with and hang out with frequently.  Now she pretty much just has me, which she resents.  She's an extrovert and I'm an introvert.  Her need to interact with others is not being met, and weed used to provide a means to do that for her.

[RedPill]

I'm with the Professor; I do not smoke but my ustbxBPDw is a frequent user. It's legal in my state. She has a long history of involvement with marijuana. She also self-medicates with alcohol and prescription drugs. We have had conflict about her smoking in the past so she largely hid it from me.
--
RP

[Helplessly]

My ex smoked a packed bowl ever 45 minutes every night and all day on weekends.  She said it was for back pain (metal rods in her back). 

She also used it to point out what a "rad" girl she was and that "what man wouldn't want a stoner gf?"

I smoke occasionally.  I "work for the government" so being a stoner is not in the cards.  Wouldn't be anyway.

She tried to slow down twice during our 18 months but both times started drinking too much. And she didn't mix well with alcohol

It appears as though she could never sustain a sober clear head. So I see it as a problem

What was I thinking and why do I miss her

[lucky013]

My ex smoked a packed bowl ever 45 minutes every night and all day on weekends.  She said it was for back pain (metal rods in her back). 

She also used it to point out what a "rad" girl she was and that "what man wouldn't want a stoner gf?"

I smoke occasionally.  I "work for the government" so being a stoner is not in the cards.  Wouldn't be anyway.

She tried to slow down twice during our 18 months but both times started drinking too much. And she didn't mix well with alcohol

It appears as though she could never sustain a sober clear head. So I see it as a problem

What was I thinking and why do I miss her

This is something i can relate to i have split with my ex now, but yeah i don't think she could see it but she everything would be evolved around smoking and she liked to be in her room as it was a safe place where she could smoke but any thing that pushed her or challenged her it was always the weed that would the first thing for release as it would work instantly, but it is wasn't there all hell would break lose

[toomanydogs]

I'm in a state where it is medically legal, and both my hBPD and I have cards.

My issue with his smoking is that he doesn't treat it medically. What the weed does for him is level out his moods and clarify his thinking better than any psychotropic drug he's been on. So, I'm in favor of it for him. However, he then either gets really high and asks me to get plastered with him, or he decides that he's an addict and will stop taking it and then get really angry for my suggesting that it seems to improve him.

I use a very high concentration of CBD to THC, so that it simply helps ease the anxiety I frequently feel. The CBD counteracts the psychoactivity of the THC, so it's much like taking a Xanax. I don't feel stoned. I feel relaxed.

I wish my husband would take his consistently and in the strains advised by his cannabis doc & nurses. I believe it would help ease the ongoing tension in our marriage.

[Hungryghosts]

@lucky013 my husband also uses marijuana. It is not legal here yet. He's generally much happier when he's using. Sometimes I think it actually helps with his moods and anxiety. I'm not against it except for the amount of money it costs. He had quit a few times before and his moods then are intolerable. He's so angry and stomps around, yells, and is then silent. He isolates himself. I'm always torn by being sad he's in such a state and angry that he's putting me through this again. I fear the next time he wants to quit. Part of me is ok with him taking things out on me because I love him and understand it's not personal. I am afraid he'll lose his job if he can't control this at work. He gets upset over the tiniest things and they ruin his whole day. I know the pot and alcohol are self medication. Sometimes I feel like they replace the comfort I can provide as his wife and he doesn't care. Does this even make sense?