Can someone who is not mentally stable help BPD friend?

[MelanieMe]

Hello everyone, i hope someone sees this and helps me with it!

I have a friend who diagnosed with PTSD but also suspectes (we both do) to have BPD.

We have been friends for almost two years now, and i have seen her every stage.

As we all know they can be very abusive and don't (can't) care about the person in front of them when they are out of control. For me, not caring about me and saying ANYthing to me is a huge problem.

I have anxiety disorder, and i experienced my little brother's suicide with my eyes and ears. I experienced serious depression almost three years ago and was fine until my brother's incident.

Right now i try to help my best friend with BPD but i feel like i don't have the strength to do it. My anxiety goes crazy when we get in a verbal fight,
AND (the most painful and hard part for me) she threatens me with suicide. She tells me that she wants to end her life and get rid of everything.

This first triggers me so badly because I experienced this with one of my closest human being on earth, second makes me incredibly sad.

Can someone help me about this situation? Thank you so much!

[formflier]

Your friend is very lucky to have you in their life.   

The answer to your question is yes... .anyone can "help" someone with BPD.  The critical thing to learn/understand is that many things we "nons" do to "help" someone with BPD actually make BPD worse

Said another way, many "healthy" things will, at first glance, seem counter-intuitive. 

For instance... .the best thing you can do for your friend, when they "get in your face" and do horrible things... .is to use boundaries to protect yourself.

My hope is that you stick around to learn the correct things to do, but... .more importantly... .that you understand the reasons why those things are effective.

FF