New to the group

[Ecodram]

Hello, my therapist gave me this site as a tool. hoping to gain some knowledge or shared experience about BPD parents.

Thank you.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Ecodram:   

Good to have you join our community.  This is a safe place to share.  It can be a helpful adjunct to therapy.  Some people like to come here to gain some information on communication skills and strategy to use with a person with BPD (pwBPD).  Combining that with therapy can be a good thing.  The more you practice the skills, the more natural they will become.

We look forward to hearing your story, when you are ready to share.

Take care.   

[Fie]

Hello Ecodram and welcome !


I too have a BPD parent, my mother.

Are you still living with your parents ?

What are the main problems you encounter when interacting with your BPD parent ?


Fie

[Ecodram]

Tonight I realized that I am broken. I have been programmed to be my mothers mental slave. while having a discussion with my girlfriend about marriage and children I figured that I cannot get married because I don’t know who I am. I have NO sense of self… Everything I do is for the pleasure and comfort of others. I can’t take a being like that into marriage and parenthood. Also, this is the time when my girlfriends wants to get married and have children, but I am just starting to break through my disease. I told her to treat me like I have a mental disorder. I have no idea what the phrase “what do I want” means… at all, I wasn’t raised to have hopes and dreams of my own, only the actions that made my mother feel better. Without my partner (or mother when I was younger) I have no meaning. I have no worth or reason for being. I was suicidal, and still have suicidal thoughts. I realized that as I grow my voice I am starting to let people down, but if I’m letting somebody down I have no reason to exist. There’s no reason for me to be here because my only job on this earth is to serve my mother/partner.

part of me wants her to go because I know that I am not a partner, but an empty shell who only knows how to please others, and who has no ideas of his own. The other half of me wants her to stay because if she leaves I’ll have no meaning.

I’ve always wanted to be the father of a little girl, but there’s no way I will pass this emptiness into my child. I’d sooner die than raise a child with this living hell.

[heartandwhole]

Ecodram,



I'm so sorry that you are feeling so down. That is so tough to deal with. I'm glad you reached out and posted your feelings. Letting it out and "standing" in front of others expressing your truth is a very courageous thing to do. We are listening, and we are here for you. 

Have you thought about reaching out to a local hotline when you have suicidal thoughts? It can really help to speak to someone live. They also have access to resources that can help.

You mentioned "growing your voice." That sounds empowering. Could you tell us more about that? How have you been growing your voice? How have others reacted?

Keep posting. It helps to share. 

heartandwhole