I took myself out and what I'm starting to learn

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I've really been struggling with contacting my x... ,my health issues are at the worst they have been in over a year... .
So last nite thru tears I went to a local jazz performance from a church ... .they were so accepting and welcoming ... and the music very uplifting... .

I came home and felt empty but knew today I just had to get back out there to the farmers market to reconnect with people I haven't seen in a year now... .
I made a connection with an org that hires those with disabilities that may have a management position open for me... .I have to contact them and see .

So , I was filming some snap chats doing my thing... and I walk around to the other side of the venue and a guy approaches me... he is a vendor selling something and when I say I just am not the clientele that would buy what he's selling... .he vents a bit about how difficult the day has been at the venue... .
We make small talk he shares he doesn't really need to work, then vents about his brother ... .so I'm looking for flags that may be one.,
But guy says he's in therapy... .could be over sharing  at the point ... or maybe he just needed to vent much like I do about my x... .
We getvtalking about narcissists and just life in general ... conversation flows
Nothing felt red flag ... .we later meet at a park because he hoped he could help restring a musical instrument for me... .ended up he couldn't .

Due to the age gap... this will only be a friendship... .he has made everything on my terms so far...
My boundaries are intact ... if he turns into a friend then so be it

Meanwhile the narcassist I was dating keeps calling.

What I have found is if I get out and force myself out and about ... .my x fades to the background ... .today because I pushed myself out I made some connections and hopefully some will pan out.

I'm not ready to date and everything will be on my terms.  I also now see a day away from the x and the trigger is less

[Idsrvt2]

I've really been struggling with contacting my x... ,my health issues are at the worst they have been in over a year... .
So last nite thru tears I went to a local jazz performance from a church ... .they were so accepting and welcoming ... and the music very uplifting... .

I came home and felt empty but knew today I just had to get back out there to the farmers market to reconnect with people I haven't seen in a year now... .
I made a connection with an org that hires those with disabilities that may have a management position open for me... .I have to contact them and see .

So , I was filming some snap chats doing my thing... and I walk around to the other side of the venue and a guy approaches me... he is a vendor selling something and when I say I just am not the clientele that would buy what he's selling... .he vents a bit about how difficult the day has been at the venue... .
We make small talk he shares he doesn't really need to work, then vents about his brother ... .so I'm looking for flags that may be one.,
But guy says he's in therapy... .could be over sharing  at the point ... or maybe he just needed to vent much like I do about my x... .
We getvtalking about narcissists and just life in general ... conversation flows
Nothing felt red flag ... .we later meet at a park because he hoped he could help restring a musical instrument for me... .ended up he couldn't .

Due to the age gap... this will only be a friendship... .he has made everything on my terms so far...
My boundaries are intact ... if he turns into a friend then so be it

Meanwhile the narcassist I was dating keeps calling.

What I have found is if I get out and force myself out and about ... .my x fades to the background ... .today because I pushed myself out I made some connections and hopefully some will pan out.

I'm not ready to date and everything will be on my terms.  I also now see a day away from the x and the trigger is less

[JaxDK]

That's awesome you are going out and distracting yourself. I've learned this helps me as well. Just keep doing it. We have to fill out lives up with things that does not evolve around our ex's. New routines, hobbies, friends new and old and start living our lives again. It's a healthy sign of a strong mine committed to go on. You should pat yourself on the back for this.

[heartandwhole]

Idsrvt2,

Well done.    I think pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones a bit is a good thing. It can shake us out of being stuck in rumination and/or a low mood. I'm glad you went out and met some people.

I recommend being the observer when it comes to new relationships. Watch the other person, listen, and take small steps toward a connection. After you share something of yourself, get quiet and observe their reaction. If it feels right, share something else when the time comes. Then watch and feel again... .There is no rush.

You can learn a lot about others and yourself this way.

heartandwhole

[Idsrvt2]

Thank you, I guess it's one step fwd a few back as today I woke up and saw a Facebook post from a zoo the x and I went too And it reminded me of how nice And kind he was that day but also how an alleged recluse stopped and talked to some girl that worked there about vultures as I had to use the bathroom... .the apologized for holding me up.   

It felt good to get out amongst people again and the sunburn I have reminds me I was alive again... but today I have to keep myself occupied again , so I will find something else to do.  I have a few things I want to do before the end of the summer and also that new job offer to look into as well.   
It's been an interesting week for sure,
Thank you for your support!

That's awesome you are going out and distracting yourself. I've learned this helps me as well. Just keep doing it. We have to fill out lives up with things that does not evolve around our ex's. New routines, hobbies, friends new and old and start living our lives again. It's a healthy sign of a strong mine committed to go on. You should pat yourself on the back for this.

[Idsrvt2]

Good advice... that's basically what we were doing he would share something and the. I would as well
I can say it was much different than the narcassist I have been dating... ,more compassion in responses ... .I'm in no rush I still have heeling to do in regards to my x and what I've posted about on the other board.   
Today I have to figure out what I'm going to do to keep my mind off of things .

Idsrvt2,

Well done.    I think pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones a bit is a good thing. It can shake us out of being stuck in rumination and/or a low mood. I'm glad you went out and met some people.

I recommend being the observer when it comes to new relationships. Watch the other person, listen, and take small steps toward a connection. After you share something of yourself, get quiet and observe their reaction. If it feels right, share something else when the time comes. Then watch and feel again... .There is no rush.

You can learn a lot about others and yourself this way.

heartandwhole