It will be 3 years this OCT since I last saw him. After 2.5 years I just packed my bags and moved as far as possible without looking back. I truly loved that man but it was debilitating to be with him. The games, affairs, circular conversations, stupid lies... all the time I thought maybe there was something wrong with me... I am still "washing off" all the toxiticy out of my brain and heart. I am a very strong woman but he managed to break me, to the point that I question if I will ever love again. Funny thing is, he never remembered my birthday, never a Christmas present or card. Valentines was never celebrated because it was the day of his divorce (more than 25 years ago). As soon as I left him, Christmas and Birthday cards arrived like nothing ever happened... .I am gathering all of the pieces of my heart still... .when is this pain going to end
Moving on from a toxic relationship can be extremely hard. It can be a really long process or relatively short, depending on what you were exposed to, your own attachment style and the steps you have or haven't taken to get past the relationship. Some relationships have caused so much damage, it's impossible to repair without the help of a therapist. Healing is a process where it's important to face all aspects of it, specially the painful parts we try and shut out.
Without sounding hard I think there's truth to what I've discovered in myself. The inability to move on is core issues with ourselves we have to work on. Sometimes that requires outside help
