Still not quite over her.

[Shedd]

It's been 2 years since we broke up, and I am still not 100% over her.  We tried to be friends for a while, but that didn't work out she blocked me, and now I'll never have a chance to get her back in my life.  I don't even know if I would want that anyway, but can someone please tell me why I still long for her when she treated me so crappy?

It's just... .It annoys me that she is able to move on so easily, and I can't.  I'm still a little stuck.  I can see myself getting better,  but what is it going to take?  Another 3 years until I'm totally healed?  I don't want to mourn her for another 3 years.  I want to get over her now.  She's also not had a girlfriend since me.  So that makes it really confusing for me.

I work with her so I see her every so often.  That sure doesn't help.  It seems like everyone wants to be with her, and I just don't get it when she treats people like crap.  Or she makes them fall in love with her and then moves onto the next.  I know she's dated a few people since we broke up and I have yet to do that.  Part of me still wants her,  but I don't want to want her! Ugh.

I've tried to date other people, sleep around.  The sleeping around part seems to work a little, but I don't want to do that with too many people.  Women don't seem to want me like she did.

Anyone have any ideas to help forget her?

[Freeatlast_1]

Shedd
I completely understand what you are going through, it's not easy. I broke up with my ex last October and we dated others, got back together and now split again. I think you have to live with the fact that you won't forget her or the memories but the goal is to get over her and live your life. Life is too short to spend it in mourning. I am struggling on a daily basis after the break up, it's been fresh. I find that I have to control my mind when I think of her so it doesn't hijack me. I start thinking about something else and I reach out to friends family and I work out. I have been with a borderline prior to her that I got over. Now she is in a relationship and settled and it doesn't faze me one bit. So I think I can get over This one too. I think building self esteem is key here. Mind body and spirit. Mind - I find that I must have CONTROL over my mind and where it takes me. If it takes me somewhere that doesn't serve me I stop it, after all I love myself and want To cater to myself. Body - I work out, weights, cardio, classes, dance. Spirit - I pray (I'm Christian) but you can be spiritual if not religious. The point is to connect to a higher more powerful force that has your best interest. I believe in vibrations and dwelling in lower vibrations gets you stuck. I have a vibration chart that I use to check myself in terms of feelings and where I am. I have caught myself in high vibrational states where I radiate love, energy and I can become very attractive just being in that zone. Now the key is maintaining that zone, because we can always fall into lower states and we gotta work daily to pick it up. Touch, hugs work a lot, research has backed that up too. Journaling your feelings daily and writing down you fears and counterbalancing them is so useful too. Just realize it's about you now, self work, and she needs to see that she has lost someone irreplaceable. I feel like my ex will never find someone like me, she knows it too. But she can't help her sickness and I won't be a victim to Her bazar behavior

[Hisaccount]

I remember some of your story but not all of it, so if this doesn't fit. Sorry.

For me, the things I think about that helped me the most to move on.
Of course dating. It showed me I am still desirable and I am not all the horrible things I thought I was.

Moved to new house, not by choice, but I got to choose the new house.

Blocked her on everything. No contact as much as possible, but of course you work together.

Then the thing I really enjoyed and helped me find me is change the way you do things.
I would cook breakfast a certain way because that is how she wanted it. I learned a new way.
I would use the pots and pans that she said were acceptable to use. I bought new.
I threw away everything I could that reminded me of her. Replaced it or just didn't need it.

Basically purging everything that has anything to do with her.

Now I get to chose everything. In doing so I learned new things about me and stopped doing things I hated but were doing for someone else and didn't even realize it.

Do you use shampoo or soap she recommended? go find something else.

You are a ways out, but it still sounds like there are a lot of reminders other than just seeing her at work from time to time.

Maybe you are past all of that. I hope it gets better for you soon.
I am able to look back and thank God everyday that I am no longer with her.

[Shedd]

Hey, thanks!  

I have deleted all pictures of her off my phone etc.  I even got rid of my FB account so she doesn't hold that blocking part over my head anymore.  I threww away her blanket that she made me, finally!

I see her at work, but I try to act like I don't care anymore.  She seems to try to be nice to me.  Which is weird.  Like moves out of my way and stuff when she could easily not let me move around?

I saw her talking to a girl last night and it didn't phase me one bit.  So I can tell I am getting better, but I am on medication (anti depressant) so I hope that's not the reason I'm getting better, and I'm also healing on my own too.

I have been doing some ego boosting.  Recently paid off all my debt.  So that helped a lot.  Now I'll be looking for a new place to live to get out of my parents.  I think that will help too.  I also plan to change stores where I work.

The only thing I still have that she gave me is a signed photograph of my favorite actress, a sweater, some leggings, and a tablet.  I'm not sure I want to get rid of those yet.  The sweater makes me think of her the most, but not in a sad way.

 I also spend most of my free time in the gym now or out with friends.So I mean, I'm working on it.  Getting over her. It's just taking time.