My stepchild scares me

[stepmominhell]

Where to start?

I love my husband and he loves me.  He loves and accepts me into his family.  Mostly he has a pretty normal situation. He and his ex are very respectful to one another and I like that because they share 4 children.  The kids are all great and also accept me into the family, except for the youngest who I am 99.9% sure has BPD.

She can be very charming and then she can also be very hurtful. She lacks remorse for how she behaves.  She has pretty well offended (or alienated is a better word) all of us.  This alienation started with myself and her stepfather.  For a long while I had to fight to stay alive in my relationship with her dad. I am convinced it was her primary intention to leave my relationship in ruins and now even the rest of her family finally agrees.  I do not like her.  I do not feel safe around her.  I feel resentful of her.

I can tell you I am happy she no longer lives in my home.  This means I no longer have to go to a locked safe to use a razor, scissors, or a steak knife.  See, she uses self harm to get what she wants from her parents and if that doesn't work... .she will stop at nothing for attention.

If you are also involved with a BPD person, I know I do not have to list everything she has done as an example of why she scares me.  I am constantly plagued by the notion of her coming to visit and I fear she (like a cancer) is always trying to get back in.  Mostly, I just need to be able to spew my feelings about her someplace besides all over my husband.