We need help

[brokenparents50]

Our 40 year old daughter will not talk to us again, are calls are blocked and emails when answered are typically attacks on our character.  She has a 9 yr old daughter and is homeless living in her car with her husband and daughter.  Drugs may be involved.  She does not have any family members she is close to.

Questionnaire
What type of relationship are you in?

Parent? Step Parent? Grandparent?   Parents

What is the age of child/teen/adult?    Adult

Living at home? Living on their own?  On their own


Who else (if anyone), in child's family, has BPD?  none immediate family, Possibly an uncle undiagnosed.


What is your child's strongest quality?  Speaking ability, intelligence


What are the top challenges your child is facing?  Homeless with no relationship with her parents or two adult sisters


What do you find most difficult in dealing with your child?  she lies even when the truth would serve her well


How would you categorize your child? Diagnosed? Undiagnosed?   Undiagnosed

(BPD, ADHD, PTSD, ASPD? Anxiety? Depressed?   BPD, Depressed

Substance Abuse? Self-Harming? Other?) Could be although she shows no signs when we see her.


What do you struggle with yourself? Loss of a child

(Traits of a disorder?  Low Self Esteem? Codependent?  She. believes all others are at fault. 

Enabling? Depression? PTSD? Anxiety? Other?)   ?


Is anyone in therapy? Child? Parent(s)?   No

If so, what type(s)?

(Individual? Group? Family?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy? Other?

AA, Al-Anon? Residential Treatment Center?

Dual Diagnosis? Intensive Out Patient?)


What are your goals at bpdfamily.com?  Help bring our daughter back to her family.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Brokenparents50 and welcome!

First of all, you mentioned that your daughter has a 9-yr-old daughter.  Do you consider her to be safe?  Do you know if she is going to school?  Your granddaughter would be my first concern.  Have you ever had much contact with her?

Being rejected by anyone you care for is hurtful but even more so when it is your child who is doing the rejecting... .a child you will always love.  Many, me included, have felt that pain.  The tears I have shed over the years would fill buckets!

It would be nice if you were at least able to send short/sweet communications... ."We love you"... .period... .but you write she has blocked calls and e-mails.  So sad!  She is an adult, though, and she has made her decision.  Hopefully that will change in the future but you can't let your lives and the lives of the rest of your family hang on that hope.  You are still a family.

Sadly there are no quick fixes to the situations we find ourselves thrown into with our troubled offspring.   For me, I have found comfort in pouring out my heart on this safe platform.  I have felt validated when someone has responded.  That has helped to give me the strength to face what I have to face... .do what I have to do (or not do)... .then reach out and give support to others like you. 

I hope you keep sharing with us, Brokenparents50.  Know that you are not alone.