Such a silly response from my BPD wife. I am breaking up

[smart_storm26]

Sometimes I find it hard to imagine how can someone have such a twisted and distorted understanding of something really simple? A day before yesterday, my BP wife and me, we were spending some time together. Everything was going well. We were on a bridge and were taking pictures of each other. When I leaned on to the bridge fence while she was taking pictures of me, I found the fence to be a bit weak and shaky. Then when it was her turn to stand and me click her pic, I told her to be careful and what I felt about the fence. She didn't say anything then. But later after coming home, when we were in bed together, she seemed upset so I asked her whats bothering her. She told me she is upset and irritated with me. I asked her why? She told me 'You have to work on your senses. I am upset with you because you don't even know these simple things. Do you know how the bridge is built? A bridge fence won't break like that. They design these bridges keeping these things in mind. This is what I feel. You don't even know these basic simple things'

I was like 'Whattttt?'

I got irritated after that and then onwards the conversation from my side went like I don't care about the science of things... .I just felt it was a bit shaky and being concerned about your safety I told you what I felt

What followed was she started crying... .those emotional rounds I am so familiar with.
I told her it was an insensitive reply from her. I cared about her and that's why told her to be careful. How will I expect that my concern for her will be twisted in such unexpected ways?

Anyways when her emotional episode ended, it was late night. Both of us didn't get proper sleep because by then it was already 3:30 AM!

In the end she apologized for her statement but I can't cant get it in my head how can someone interpret a simple thing in such a distorted way? I ask myself will I really be able to stay in marriage with this woman for the rest of my life? I do not deserve this.

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[Jack_50]

My opinion : her hormones are out of whack, and she had an emotional fit because of it.

Hormones have critical control on a person's emotional state, and some women are on an emotional rollercoaster during their monthly cycle.  She will say anything to match her feelings, however absurd it is.  Your wife was agitated, searched and found (in her mind) something to complain about.  Logic has nothing whatsoever to do with it, it is pure emotional expression.  Look at it that way, and it is a lot easier to accept.

What she needed was a listening ear, not an agreeing one.  She's not the first woman with this problem, and won't be the last.

Still a big taboo in our society, making lots of men crazy.  Men expect a person to make factual  sense, while women put much more importance on emotional connection and expression.

Understanding goes a long way.


Hope it helps,

Jack