Any of you know anyone with BPD get into treatment and was it successful?

[Sister2]

Have any of you known anyone with BPD get into treatment and was successful?  If so, what type of treatment and where was this treatment given?  

[drained1996]

My pwBPD was in with a very good clinical psychologist... .did it work... .as much as she allowed it and participated in the therapy. The answer isn't linear with any subject... .she didn't get better... .in fact worse.  It's up to the individual to do the work with a really good therapist... .for a long time.  Outcomes seem to vary from what I've read and experienced.

[HappyChappy]

I believe therapy works best if someone is diagnosed at an early age. But they must first accept the diagnosis, which is uncommon.

I have often read of people with PD coming to therapy, but more often than not, they treat it as a game, or simply as a way of keeping family quiet. My BPD was given an ultimatum to go to the Dr , because someone had discovered she had acted in a way that would lead to social services getting involved. She went because she could no long blag her way out of what she’d done and was using it as cover, in that she self diagnosed that it was post natel depression due to having horribly behaved children (projecting the blame away). And guess what, that is exactly what the Dr apparnetly said too.  He gave her tablets that she refused to take "Nothing wrong we me."

These days, she will tell you it never happened. It is extremely rare for someone especially in middle or latter years, to accept a diagnosis and hence benefit from treatment, but I have read there are examples.  But I know that was my first hope, when I realised about BPD. But found working on acceptance was more beneficial for me, in the long run. Best of luck with your case. 

[ijustwantpeace]

I learned many of my social skills from my mother and had severe boundary issues and was always trying to tell others what to do with their life which resulted in alot of pain in my own life.  I could not stand the pain any longer and got help to find out what the problem was and am happier than ever.

That said a person with BPD is used to the way they are and therapy puts them into pain.  So my feeling is no.  My guess is those who go for help have BPD traits, but not full blown BPD.

We are all wired as a survival mechanism to avoid pain, and so whatever we can to avoid being in pain.  The BPD is in terror of dealing with their trauma and will do anything to avoid dealing with it even destroying every ounce of confidence of their children and those around them.

The only way anyone changes BPD or Non is if the pain is so bad that they are convinced getting help is the only path forward.

Hope this helps.

[RunningWithScissors]

Sister2 - Yes!  An unqualified yes!

My story (I'm stepmom to a BPD) is posted in the Parenting thread right at the top under 'Breakthroughs... + TLC'.  There's many stories there that may give you a more optimistic perspective. 

[Turkish]

In addition to the Parenting Board,  there are also success stories at the top of the Improving Board as well. 

[pallavirajsinghani]

Please see threads of a poster "steph". I believe her husband finally learnt how to manage his condition well.  Please understand that this disorder cannot be "cured".  The sufferer however, can learn skills that allow him/her to manage it well enough to be functional and emotionally fulfilled members of society.

[Sister2]

Please see threads of a poster "steph". I believe her husband finally learnt how to manage his condition well.  Please understand that this disorder cannot be "cured".  The sufferer however, can learn skills that allow him/her to manage it well enough to be functional and emotionally fulfilled members of society.

Thank you for responding.  I realize that BPD can't be cured, somewhat like alcoholism.  I realize that my brother lacks coping skills to navigate life in a healthful way.  Our mother had BPD; she wasn't diagnosed.  After reading more than 7 books on the subject and going through therapy myself (I had a few BPD traits that I learned from my mother). I KNEW then, as I was going through therapy,  and KNOW now that  she did suffer from BPD.  She lived a very sad life.  I wish someone would have told me that she was the one that was ill and not me.  I spent over 30 years thinking something was wrong with me!

[Sister2]

My pwBPD was in with a very good clinical psychologist... .did it work... .as much as she allowed it and participated in the therapy. The answer isn't linear with any subject... .she didn't get better... .in fact worse.  It's up to the individual to do the work with a really good therapist... .for a long time.  Outcomes seem to vary from what I've read and experienced.

"As much as she allowed it and participated in the therapy."  Key!
My brother has gone to 2 professionals.  Both times he hung the sessions up, because it was a waste of time and money.  The second therapist has my brother's permission to speak with me about his case.  When my brother refused anymore sessions, I scheduled to see the therapist myself.  The therapist told me that my brother "won't accept certain things."  The therapist wouldn't elaborate, which I respected.  I was no surprised at all when I was told that he won't accept things.  Thank you for responding   

[Highlander]

Hi Sister2,

My DH used to have full blown diagnosed Low Frequency BPD and after acceptance of the diagnosis and a lot of hard work, over many years he has now completely recovered  .  Believe me, as his wife, I know he no longer presents with any traits now for many years.  There is the odd occasion that he may say something a little twisted, just out of many decades of habit and I just tell him "that's BPD talk" and he laughs and agrees and apologizes straight away.

His mother has undiagnosed High Frequency BPD/NPD, we give her no hope of acceptance of a diagnosis, even if she was willing to get a mental health assessment (unlikely).

I have other friends with mothers, siblings with BPD and in my opinion, if someone has the type of BPD that they take out on other people with lies and manipulations (like my MIL), there's very little chance of recovery seeing they don't believe there is anything wrong with them and thus never get help but the BPD sufferer's like my husband, have much more chance of recovery because they accept their own BPD behaviours are dysfunctional and negative.  I think that because DH was in the 25% of BPD sufferers that don't also have NPD was a huge reason for this rare but very real success story.

[Sister2]

Thank you for your shared experiences.  I'm happy for you and your husband that he has recovered.  A problem has to be acknowledged before it can be solved.  So true.