So confused

[Vintagerebel]

My husband of 27 years has recently been diagnosed with BPD and bi-polar 2. In the past two years I've endured 2 affairs and 4 or 5 separations. He says he is willing to get help however his actions do not typically back his promises. What is the success rate? I feel so guilty and I'm scared he'll kill himself if I leave him for good. He makes me feel completely worthless and crazy with all the mind games.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Vintagerebel,

Welcome to the family!

Oh, I'm sorry to hear all you have endured. It sounds like the past two years have been particularly painful ones. It is hard because sometimes people can go back and forth in their commitments to make change!

You ask about success so I want to point you to the top of the board to the Success Stories: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=113820.0

It sounds like it would also be helpful for you to read up more on BPD so that you can have a better understanding of the behaviors and possible responses to them. If you study the tools here you may find that, whatever happens in the long run, you will be more at peace about the relationship. I know that this site helped me feel this way after a few months of careful reading and review and letting this all sink in.

Please keep posting and let us know if you have other questions for the community!

Wishing you peace.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Vintagerebel,

I like your name. SOrry that things have been so hard in your relationship. Did you initiate the separations or did he? What type of help have you looked into for him?