High Functioning Father and family crisis

[monemea]

Hi, I'm new. My dad is likely a high functioning BPD. I have read stop walking on eggshells after a pastor we confided in recommend it.

About a month ago my mom was over helping with my newborn and 2 other children and she broke down crying and told me she couldn't take it any more. My dad is emotional and verbally abusive and very much so fits the profile of a high functioning BPD. He had been railing at her for hours over text over a total non issue. My mom took a stand for the first time in their 27 year marriage and everything sort of blew up. She and my younger sisters came to live at my house to stay away from the extreme anger and lashing out.
Since then we have all been processing our childhood and my mom with her marriage. There has been a lot of damage done and we've all coped in different ways. My dad seems driven to yell at someone around him constantly. When I was little he would yell at me for hours about pee wee soccer. When we all got older it would be boyfriend's or school or some other thing he came up with. The youngest just went away to college so I think the lack of kids around to yell at is why my mom starting getting it even worse than usual.

My dad is very intelligent and successful. He was severely abused as a child in many ways including sexually. I'm really looking for experience and tips about high functioning BPD in particular since most of the other resources and communities I've found tend to focus on low functioning.

[Woolspinner2000]

Welcome Monemea! 

You've come to the right place to find help and lots of information about BPD. There is quite a spectrum of where so many of those with BPD fall. My uBPDm was high functioning as well. I think it's even tougher when they are high functioning because it makes us question our sanity even more.

50 Common Questions

This is a wonderful link with many many topics to chose from. You can chose topics that would be helpful to you that you'd find interesting.

Are you or any of your family members in T with someone who understands BPD?  Is your mom still staying with you right now? It is good that you are offering her and your siblings a welcome and safe place. There is much to work through and you all will have many questions as you begin this journey to healing and recovery. It takes courage, but you've already shown that there is much courage with you all because you took that first step. 

 
Wools