Haven`t heard back... What is she even thinking during this time?

[t204]

Plan for dinner is she will come over and make it with me. And we will sit and talk. Lay all cards on the table of what we expect from eachother or expected. She says she wants a real life, get married etc. She also says that I show no motivation to do that with her and she is lost.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

thats a pretty loaded conversation. not saying its a bad one to have, but one you need to bring the skills and tools to the right of the board to. listen, validate, dont validate the invalid, dont JADE. do let us know how it goes.

[t204]

Well the conversation went rather well. We ended up spending most of the weekend together and so I g things. After dropping her off now from the last putting she said she is very confused. I asked what she meant. She replied she doesn’t understand how we always seem to have the greatest of times together and end up snapping at petty issues and break up. I said because I think I have been far to passive in decision making and she misunderstands my intentions a lot. I told her that if I lose it and drop a argument and go wash the car that it doesn’t mean I am walking away from her and the problem. And that it’s just me saying ok this is enough let’s take a hour and reset because if I try to defend my actions she just talks over me and we get nowhere.
I made it clear to her that it never meant I was walking away as in see you never way. I told her that if down the road we decide to try this again we need to both be open if something is bothering us and not bottle it till we lose it. I said it is a 50/50 road and we are equally guilty for failing or passing.
Her response is still that she wants to feel a normal life and that I have her back.
I said this would take time to rebuild but that I wouldn’t turn my back on her and just rather if we argue that it be about the problem itself and not used as a venting session and take cheap shots about familys etc.
She just kept saying it sucks that we have such a great time together otherwise and end up fighting and breaking up.
The reality of it all is we don’t fight a lot, mainly because I bite my tongue a lot. And I bite it because I know she blows things out of contex and I never want to offend her or hurt her feelings. Basically I pampered all the hurtful times to spare her feelings while I swallowed it for her sake which needs to and will change this day forward. I told her I’m not willing to play and humour these times anymore, that we need to respect eachother.
Although I really believe that 70% of fallouts is her mouth and jabs and the 30% is from when I finally give it back that causes break ups. I suggested us if we want to try this again to see a counsler for both of us to learn. She did try to pass all blame on me for our break ups. I stopped her before she can finish and said no! It is 50/50.
She doesn’t seem interested in seeing a counsler so now I’m not sure how to approach this?