The Drapes

[MyThreeDawgs]

I remember it as if it were yesterday.  Nine I was and we had just moved back into our old neighborhood.  We moved away for a short time while my dad built our new home just a few doors down from the original one.  I’d say that this was the year they finished murdering me.  Third grade.  Nine years old. According to her, dad sold her house out from under her and moved all of us without her consent.  I think the thing she was the most angry about was that he sold the drapes she made in the real estate transaction.  How many times have I heard “And that woman has my drapes.”?

We moved back.  The neighborhood was full of children my age give or take a few years.  We had giant southern oaks to climb in, forts to build and cool green grasses to roll in.  It should have been an idyllic time.  It was anything but.  One late summer evening the kids decided to break into small groups and have sleepovers at various homes. I wasn’t included.  I’d like to say that the six months we were gone had derailed friendships but that isn’t true.  The truth is I never had friends.  I was a weird kid.  I was a sad kid.  I asked my mother if little Linda could spend the night with me and to my surprise she said yes.  Looking back I realize now that she couldn’t say no because Linda’s mother was the most popular and beloved mother in the neighborhood.  What would Mrs. M say? Unfortunately, I was an idiot and didn’t realize that although she played with me in a yard with twenty other nine year olds I was not her companion of choice.  Far from it.  Little Nicki and I were all that were left.  Like dodge ball in a school yard.  I asked her if she wanted to spend the night with me and she said yes.  It never occurred to me that another nine year old could derange my mother the way it did.  You see, Nicki was the daughter of the mother that had my mother’s drapes. My mother went into a rage when she found out that it was Nicki and not Linda spending the night in her home.  What I remember the most is not the generalized rage but how she backed me against a wall and hissed and spit at me……and her words.  Her words hurt so much.  She said with disgust no mother should ever feel let alone display “You just had to have someone didn’t you?  Anyone, RIGHT?”  I was humiliated because it was true.  I was further humiliated when I said to the demon mother “But, I have no one.”

I remember the last look of rage and disgust on her face.  Maybe my submission was what she needed.  Maybe she didn't expect me to die so soon.

Evil.

[Struggles]

Thank you for sharing your memories of childhood and your talent with us.  Again, writing about something so horrific, yet writing it so beautifully. 

When you talk about the drapes, it brings up so many different rage fits from my MIL over material items.  I see a theme with this in other BPDs, the monetary or material is placed above their relationships. 

We still to this day hear about a patio set that wasn't even hers that was sold to someone else instead of being given to her by one of her children.  That was 10 years ago. 

[bright_future_mama]

I CAN SO RELATE.  Change the drapes to an upholstered chair or an heirloom.  My mom only cares about money and materialistic things.  She actually got federal student loans in my sisters' names to the tune of 50K and used them for herself.  Fraud--forged their signatures.  They didn't get any of it and now are paying it back for her.  Doesn't phase her in the slightest.  Her ex husband just got hit with credit card fraud thanks to her.  She got a bunch of credit cards in his name.  She has an antique mall and stole from her vendors.  Oh, and the inheritance... .the will... .who is going to get what... .she's obsessed with that (my Grandad's money).

[Struggles]

That is so terrible that she has stolen all of that from her family and children. 

My MIL is similar, not fraud, but she took something of my husbands that was very sentimental to him, sold it and kept the money.  Didn't even tell him until he came down to visit and noticed it was missing.  She is obsessed with wills as well.  She assumes we are all inheritance crazy as well, and loves to throw the "you aren't getting $*#% when I die" card.  What she doesn't realize is none of her children care about any of that.  We would all just assume not be left anything because with her outrageous spending they would be left with nothing but debt anyways.  When her FIL died, they realized nothing was left to them, but instead the great grandchildren.  She actually held a grudge to the great grandchildren (ages 8-10) at the time and her children like somehow they had anything to do with the will!  Absolute insanity.  Material items and money can be replaced, but the ones you love can't.  I will never understand it.