introduction

[john123]

Hello all:

I'm glad to have found this resource.  I have a son in his twenties who has just been diagnosed with BPD.  I myself work in mental health and have been thinking along these lines for years, but have observed boundaries about diagnosing one's own family members!  Besides, he's family, not a client, and my role needs to be different.

So basically I feel a lot of relief - he is now interested in a pretty high quality DBT program where he lives. I know quite a bit about DBT, have had clients go through our local program, so I'm very hopeful that he will get life skills to help him cope better with his life and feel happier more of the time.  We love him so much and of course want to see him enjoying life on his terms.

Looking forward to being part of this forum, and getting support and lending support.

john123

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Radcliff]

Hello john123, I am sorry to hear that your son is dealing with BPD, but am glad you've found us.  It's also fantastic to hear that he is likely to be headed for a DBT program.  That is optimistic news.  You will find excellent support for you here, as you work to support your son.

WW

[wendydarling]

Hi john123

I'd like to join Wentworth in welcoming you to bpdfamily    I'm glad you've joined us.  It's great to hear your son's interested in his local DBT programme, following his recent diagnosis.    My 29 daughter completed DBT this summer and is doing so very well. I can understand your relief he's on the road after thinking he's possibly BPD for years. Does he live near you? Is he working?

WDx

[john123]

WDx and WW:
Thank you for the welcomes.  He lives in a city about 300 miles away. It's a short plane trip (or a 6 hour drive) and we intend to access the family support events with his program as much as possible.  He is an aspiring musician, just graduated college.  He is making inroads but needs to support himself.    He is learning that taking part-time work to just pay bills leaves him time enough to create music but also leaves him quite stressed. 
But as someone who is very familiar with DBT and this diagnosis I have a lot of hope and relief.  We just bought several good books - which helps me from the consumer end of things. 
Also, his older sister struggled with anxiety disorder and OCD several years ago and after residential treatment got her life back on track, and has been doing very well at life for the last 3 years.   
I think our task is figuring out that perfect blend of support/love/guidance that gives him maximum help but allows us appropriate separation so we do not enable or feel consumed. I am optimistic that we can do this.
Thanks,
j123

[wendydarling]

Hi John123

I think our task is figuring out that perfect blend of support/love/guidance that gives him maximum help but allows us appropriate separation so we do not enable or feel consumed. I am optimistic that we can do this.

Thanks for this, many parent's will relate to 'our task is figuring out that perfect blend... .', I certainly do single parent, 29daughter living at home, it's worked so far, she continues to progress at her own pace.  she's moving forwards. Your son has a good role model in his sister too, with her finding how to successfully manage her life, one that suits her. I'm pleased to hear she is doing well.

What have your chosen to read? I've just finished, Stronger than BPD, Debbie Corso - very timely and insightful as my DD completed DBT in the summer. 

Here is the welcome I received to my first post here back in 2015, 'thank you for the optimism and hope you offer'.

Thank you for the optimism and hope you offer John123 

I look forward to reading your posts in the future and how you and your son are progressing.

WDx