When will I learn?

[ForwardFocused]

 
Merry Christmas!  

I must be a glutton for punishment. I will preface this with... .before I discovered this amazing website, I did everything wrong in communicating with my son's uBPDgf.  I knew nothing about BPD until I met her and our relationship slowly, and steadily deteriorated. Over time, I see less and less of them to the point of being completely shut out.  Beginning to think its me with the problem and not her.

After reading posts from others that its not uncommon for BPD family members to be no shows on holidays, it still doesn't ease the pain and sadness I am feeling right now.   It is heartbreaking and I don't know how to wrap me head around this.  There are gifts waiting to be opened, each chosen and wrapped with love.  Now, I am so hurt and angry I don't know what to do with it. 

I've been reading so much useful info. on this website.  Especially understanding the emotional vs. logical mind and finding a balance. Right now, my emotions are all about me and I am having a difficult time looking from their perspective.  Working on empathy is on my "to do" list this week.
 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi ForwardFocused, love your name  

Welcome to bpdfamily   and Merry Christmas to you too    I'm sorry they have not chosen to be with you, that is hard.

I'm so glad you found us, parents here understand what your are dealing with. What we don't know, we don't know, till we do know and here we learn how make changes and move forwards, you are not alone  

Finding bpdfamily 27 Dec 2015 turned my life round, the great support from members here and resources helped me put in the work I needed to. I got on board, it's small steps, take your time  

What behaviours are you dealing with?

Stay with us and keep posting, we are here and walking with you.

WDx