Hi everyone! I'm new here and doing the whole introduction thing. My wife and I have been together for about 4.5 years, and she has been diagnosed with both bipolar and borderline. She got her diagnosis very early in our relationship, so I always knew what I was getting myself into... .I even helped her through a terrible suicidal reaction to Wellbutrin when we'd been dating for a couple of months. That really was the worst she's been during our entire time together.
E. is high-functioning, for all intents and purposes. Other than that awful Wellbutrin reaction, she's always been able to perform well at work and maintain deep, lasting friendships. When she's not in a dark place, she's one of the most loving, generous people I've ever met. But I've noticed over the past year and a half that she's gotten more aggressive and harder to please. She's also started relying on me more to do simple things for her, like go get a snack from the kitchen or let the dog outside. I'm struggling to set reasonable boundaries that will help me get less overwhelmed.
I do have a history of one-sided relationships, or maybe it's more accurate to say that they've been disproportionate. I tend to give more than the other person. I struggle with boundaries. Does anyone have solid advice on figuring out what boundaries are most important and then being super consistent with them? I've been reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and "The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder," and they do a lot to explain what's happening and why. But I feel like the tools they provide for improving your relationship are just hard to navigate.
Oh, and I just got a referral from my primary doctor for a therapist, so I'm sure that will help once I'm able to get in to see her.
Thanks for reading this incredibly long post!
