Sister with BPD

[Kiya12345]

I have been in weekly therapy for the past eight years to overcome the stronghold that my younger sisiter's BPD and bipolar disorder have had on my family since she hit puberty. So often, people will be in disbelief at a story of something she has done to me and I don't have the heart to tell them that is one of hundreds of such stories. The good news is that I am healthy, stable, have firm limits and boundaries and I do not have a relationship with her. The bad news is that she still controls many of my family members, including my parents.

While I hate to think of anyone else going through what I did, I can't imagine finding someone who had a younger sibling who was obsessed with them their entire life and was hellbent on making sure everyone suffered along with her. As I am researching this disorder, I came across this group and I feel as though someone might have walked the same path. Thanks for listening.

[HappyChappy]

Hi Kiya12345,

Welcome. I have BPD mom and NPD bro and like you, lots of bizarre stories. Although my school friends continually point out their bizarre behaviour, they never saw the worst of it. So when I did tell they were stunned into silence, they admitted they could not relate but did want to help. So got my validation here, and I did needed validation to mend. So welcome this forum is full of people wanting to return the favour, you would normally get a faster response but the festive season is triggering for many

So go for it, I doubt you will surprise or shock anyone one here. Welcome.  

[baylady]

  Sister with BPD, I have a similar situation with my youngest sister.  She has not been diagnosed (as far as I know).  We have been mostly NC for over seven years with a couple of family gatherings here and there, at which we sometimes are able to talk a little and sometimes not at all.  I am very careful about any contact.  If she doesn't like anything I say or do (or anyone for that matter), she can launch into a tirade and stomp out and sometimes starts a social media smear campaign all over again.  She will also send hateful text messages or emails, including some threatening suicide and other threats.  She just sent me a nasty text message last week (with a new #).  I never respond anymore and blocked the new #.  Responding only causes things to escalate.  If I don't have contact, there is less ammunition to use against me.  It makes me very sad, but until I feel she is willing to take some responsibility, this is where I am with our relationship. 

Might I ask what kind of therapy?  I am considering therapy, not only to help me with my sister but to understand what part I play in the family dynamics.  I really don't think I am just an innocent bystander and want to accept responsibility for my own behavior.