It has been observed that people with BPD or other acting-out disorders typically blacklist ended relationships. They often describe them as abusive. Perhaps your ex described her prior relationships as bad ones? It's the Denial, Blaming and Blame Shifting. They can't accept their part in the demise or implosion of the relationships.
My ex and I have one child, now a teenager. A dozen years have passed and she still says she hates me (for what I did to her). Even our son reports that. It is what it is.
If there are no children then it is possible the object constancy aspect results in out of sight, out of mind.
I made mistakes in the relationship but the undisputed emotional and physical bully in the relationship was her. Now she’s playing the victim card, she never hit me, never threw things at me, it’s all my imagination. Before I left I told my wife she pretty much provoked almost every fight we ever had with her never ending comments and she had the audacity to ask me to name one fight she provoked. That would have been like her asking me to name the last time she took a breath of air. I can honestly say I never went out of my way to instigate a fight, just not my style or temperament and I knew how sensitive she was. Push my buttons enough or lie to me and I’ll engage and likely end up raising my voice. It got bad at the end from burnout.
I can’t really have any civil texting back and forth. She always has to make some kind of comment where she is making sure she’s in control or talking down to me. I owed my first child support payment this money, I was finally given the number today after asking last week. I was not going to be late so I drove the check to the house tonight (30 minutes away) and put it in the mailbox.
I get a text message later, I was $4 short, I can add it to next month. Says it in a really snide way. Of course I’m so reactive to her crap so I bite which is exactly what she wants.
This is why you have no friends. If you were so happy with your new life you wouldn’t be such a miserable and vindictive POS. I’m pretty sure he then responded to me, fighting her battles for her since he’s a narcissistic ahole looking for supply.
She had the affair. She moved this man into the house we just bought a year ago. She is allowing our son to call the guy Papi. I can’t talk to my son on the phone because he poisons the conversation with Papi talk. My wife is Latina.
I should never have responded and just sent her a check for $4 tomorrow.
My contact with her in any capacity is pretty much limited to once a week. I haven’t seen her face to face since before Christmas. I pick him up from daycare and drop him off at daycare. Our once a week contact usually results in a few shots.
