New here: 15yr old daughter has BPD and is going from bad to worse

[Scoody]

We never realized that our 15 yr old daughter (my stepdaughter of 3 years) had a mental illness. We just thought she had issues like most teens. After 3 years with her now as StepDad, seeing her from  a different parental view , it became obvious within the first year she had abnormal problems. We began various therapists to little or no avail. Her snap to screaming tantrums , crying fits, self harm hospitalizations, very little social life, not many friends, terrible vile language and 3am fits were too much. We stumbled upon BPD and our eyes were opened wide. Going for Behavioral health assessment next week. So far just given Depression meds that did stop her self harming. There is never a day where she looks and feels normal anymore. It is killing her we can tell, she refuses to think she's anything but normal which is hard. It is impossible to talk to her without every word turning into a raging loud fight. Doors broken in, stealing, impulsivity,physical fighting, massive depression,no empathy, compulsive lying and blaming,binging, police being called frequently to calm her. Our family is at wits end. She IS a beautiful, smart girl when she applies herself.It is now very infrequent.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi Scoody

So glad you came to join us at the bpdfamily.  Wow, you really are going through a lot, and it's confronting when you realise that there is more to this than teenage growing pains.   

While you must be hurting for your step daughter so much, it's very insightful of you to recognise how much she is hurting herself, and wanting to reach out.   Believe me, none of us come with a born understanding of mental health and how to respond to the extreme behaviours; and most importantly to ensure that we can safeguard our own mental health.

I am reading a book by Shari Manning at the moment; "Loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder".  It is incredibly grounding and insightful and there is a wealth of information on the board from parents to articles (to the right) 

Do you have support? Keep coming and sharing as we care and are sharing with you.

Take care
Merlot